really happy and excited to be joining green honu tmr!
finally some motivation to get my butt out man. gonna touch swimming pool water for the first time in 3 months haha! nice. (:
im just really happy right now coz spending time with him always makes me happy(:
thank you!
ok gonna edit pics and pack my stuff now.
chionging to charge my lappy before the batt runs out in 24min!
kthxbye/
EH!!! I DIDNT GET MY YAMI YOGHURT TODAY!! FORGOT!
Wednesday, May 11
Tuesday, May 10
as i sit here, bored and alone, thinking of them, not a thought of what could, should or would have been crossed my wandering mind. just simple thoughts of what will never be.
if you come here, that was what i used to really hope for, and i still do, but how is it going to be possible at this stage? maybe things will change. i dont know, really.
i've always only wanted you, like ive told you excitedly a thousand times before, but would YOU let me be the one holding your wedding gown as you walk down the aisle, if things do change for the better?
anw, just got back from obs on fri, slightly burnt and aching, in addition(subtraction, actually) to 3 dropped toenails, 2 broken manicured nails and 1 lost earring.
the only activity in which i felt accomplished was the 4.5hr kayaking around pulau ubin in the sweltering heat. smth new for me there. didnt get to see dolphins and dugongs but it was nevertheless an experience to be treasured. had a 6km trek and a night under the stars, learnt to tell the north from the south using stars, burnt countless mosquito coils, cooked maggi mee in mess tins using solid fuel while the mosquitoes feasted, and caught the sunset.
other then that, it was basically a waste of time. i liked the theory lessons actually. hated the group discussions and solo reflection time wth they totally threw us alone in some corner for reflection like ALONEALONE zzz. we didnt get to do flying fox damn. never done flying fox in all the camps ive been to coz... im just unlucky and missed the oppotunity. bleah. oh wells...
had bub's car the whole of ytd which was awesome. felt like freedom. have it today as well but am too lazy to find parking again. that said, i better go check on the illegally parked car. haha. boo.
goodies its not clamped haha!
yay lion king later! (:
not looking forward to tmr's math class. zzz. tuition and meranti project also. ):
but sure am looking forward to boat license with daddy, clarence and bubs.omg gonna be so awesome! HEE!
alright! gonna watch movie and play psp while waiting for bubs to finish his meranti. zzz
if you come here, that was what i used to really hope for, and i still do, but how is it going to be possible at this stage? maybe things will change. i dont know, really.
i've always only wanted you, like ive told you excitedly a thousand times before, but would YOU let me be the one holding your wedding gown as you walk down the aisle, if things do change for the better?
anw, just got back from obs on fri, slightly burnt and aching, in addition(subtraction, actually) to 3 dropped toenails, 2 broken manicured nails and 1 lost earring.
the only activity in which i felt accomplished was the 4.5hr kayaking around pulau ubin in the sweltering heat. smth new for me there. didnt get to see dolphins and dugongs but it was nevertheless an experience to be treasured. had a 6km trek and a night under the stars, learnt to tell the north from the south using stars, burnt countless mosquito coils, cooked maggi mee in mess tins using solid fuel while the mosquitoes feasted, and caught the sunset.
other then that, it was basically a waste of time. i liked the theory lessons actually. hated the group discussions and solo reflection time wth they totally threw us alone in some corner for reflection like ALONEALONE zzz. we didnt get to do flying fox damn. never done flying fox in all the camps ive been to coz... im just unlucky and missed the oppotunity. bleah. oh wells...
had bub's car the whole of ytd which was awesome. felt like freedom. have it today as well but am too lazy to find parking again. that said, i better go check on the illegally parked car. haha. boo.
goodies its not clamped haha!
yay lion king later! (:
not looking forward to tmr's math class. zzz. tuition and meranti project also. ):
but sure am looking forward to boat license with daddy, clarence and bubs.omg gonna be so awesome! HEE!
alright! gonna watch movie and play psp while waiting for bubs to finish his meranti. zzz
Tuesday, April 26
Sunday, April 24
just 11.5 more hours to the end!
the wait is terribly torturous!!
grrr!!
can totally see myself slacking around like a piece of tofu! yessssss.
but the first thing i really wanna do... like immediately immediately after exam, is to pick up a tennis racket again and start whacking some balls man.
hoping that i can do that tmr. omg. SCREW RUNNING. SCREW SWIMMING.esp screw running.
hate running like seriously. hahaah.
i'd rather be a piece of tofu than go run. -.-
all the girls in class are going for the stupid nike run and they have unsuccessfully persuaded me to go. puh leese..-.-
sleepy ttm.
ok goodnight world.
by the time u wake up, im slacking/partying/movieing/tofuing
yessssssssss.
FULL MARKS FTW. hellyeah (for the first 80 marks that is.) screw last 2 qn.
the wait is terribly torturous!!
grrr!!
can totally see myself slacking around like a piece of tofu! yessssss.
but the first thing i really wanna do... like immediately immediately after exam, is to pick up a tennis racket again and start whacking some balls man.
hoping that i can do that tmr. omg. SCREW RUNNING. SCREW SWIMMING.esp screw running.
hate running like seriously. hahaah.
i'd rather be a piece of tofu than go run. -.-
all the girls in class are going for the stupid nike run and they have unsuccessfully persuaded me to go. puh leese..-.-
sleepy ttm.
ok goodnight world.
by the time u wake up, im slacking/partying/movieing/tofuing
yessssssssss.
FULL MARKS FTW. hellyeah (for the first 80 marks that is.) screw last 2 qn.
simply cant wait for mon 1130. heehee.
i know its gonna be over quickly and then there wont be the excitement of wanting something to be over so bad. but still.. mon please come quick. :D
had a scary, ghostly dream last night.
pretty cool when i actually thought abt it.
had elements of my sec sch life, jc life and uni life such as the people involved. and had elements of my wants and thoughts.
cool (:
on another note,
i also think i look damn cool now.
i look like the fire guy in the avatar. forgot his name. think its zuko. the bad guy. hahaha.
i look into the mirror and actually think i like my new "eyeshadow" thanks ah mother. u make me look so pwweeettyy. so pweetty i dont wanna go to church to show my new look. :D
anw, thanks for protecting me and making me feel safe.
and for taking me away from the crap. always seem to happen at the worst times eh.
I Will Rise
Chris Tomlin
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[x2]
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
i know its gonna be over quickly and then there wont be the excitement of wanting something to be over so bad. but still.. mon please come quick. :D
had a scary, ghostly dream last night.
pretty cool when i actually thought abt it.
had elements of my sec sch life, jc life and uni life such as the people involved. and had elements of my wants and thoughts.
cool (:
on another note,
i also think i look damn cool now.
i look like the fire guy in the avatar. forgot his name. think its zuko. the bad guy. hahaha.
i look into the mirror and actually think i like my new "eyeshadow" thanks ah mother. u make me look so pwweeettyy. so pweetty i dont wanna go to church to show my new look. :D
anw, thanks for protecting me and making me feel safe.
and for taking me away from the crap. always seem to happen at the worst times eh.
I Will Rise
Chris Tomlin
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
[x2]
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
Tuesday, April 19
after all the worrying and all the nonsense that came with the worrying, im relieved and really glad to say that everything's fine now.
but yet it makes me wonder,
does God have to take all that trouble of making us worry so much, so that we will be needy and finally go to Him, begging for mercy? Why do all that just to get us back to His side? Why doesnt He just give up, leave us be, let us stray and die as sinners?
in the bible, matt 18: 12,14 reads, "..If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine and go to look for the one that wandered off?...In the same way, your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost."
I'm guilty for straying for the past few months. but He has successfully gotten me back to His side in His own way and it really feels so good to be back in His arms once again.
This episode, though considerably short, felt like a really long period of time. i believe its simply coz it happened during this exam period. Knowing how exam periods are like, feels like its never gonna end eh. So yes, i think i can say that i've been worrying for a reallllyyy long time! from all the worrying, my studies were inevitably affected, attention was constantly diverted back to the what-if scenario, and at night, sleep didnt come easy, and even if it did, it wouldnt be a peaceful one, leaving me still tired the next day. yet, by His grace and mercy, i've been able to study, thought not alot, but enough, just enough to allow me to answer all the questions rather alright today. once again, i know i should be studying for the next paper tmr, but i just want to announce to the world the goodness and faithfulness of God.
Through this, it not only brought bubs and i closer to God, it also brought the both of us closer to each other and from now on, we're gonna honour the pact that bubs made to God. bubs doesnt know but i actually prayed the same thing. hee. so yes. im really glad we are gonna honour the pact and im really excited to see what else God has in stored for us. Thank you bubs, for staying with me through this. loves.
anw 2 more to go. after tmr can party alr actually. heehee. cant wait!
Yes, i serve a faithful God.
Sunday, April 17
RAWRSSS. clarissa is hungry!
waiting for bubs to take me out for lunch.
had an hour-long super duper interesting phonecall with cc ytd.
it feels.. comforting to know.. someone really understands coz that person has been through the exact same situation as you and felt the exact same way and thought the exact same things and did the exact same research hahaah.
but the sucky feeling that we keep trying to push away.. the worrying.. its smth we never thought we'd feel. and the conversations are those we'd never ever thought we would have.
if my witness reads this: im sorry, ive torn it and thrown it away, coz it is meaningless to keep something which i couldnt keep.
you may have forgotten what we exchanged signatures and phone numbers for. im not sure if you are still keeping that card that we got in j1. but it used to mean so much to me and i was so darn sure i will never have to discard it. but now i have and im sorry.
if that's gonna be the punishment.. its soso much more than i can bear.
waiting for bubs to take me out for lunch.
had an hour-long super duper interesting phonecall with cc ytd.
it feels.. comforting to know.. someone really understands coz that person has been through the exact same situation as you and felt the exact same way and thought the exact same things and did the exact same research hahaah.
but the sucky feeling that we keep trying to push away.. the worrying.. its smth we never thought we'd feel. and the conversations are those we'd never ever thought we would have.
if my witness reads this: im sorry, ive torn it and thrown it away, coz it is meaningless to keep something which i couldnt keep.
you may have forgotten what we exchanged signatures and phone numbers for. im not sure if you are still keeping that card that we got in j1. but it used to mean so much to me and i was so darn sure i will never have to discard it. but now i have and im sorry.
if that's gonna be the punishment.. its soso much more than i can bear.
Saturday, April 16
has anybody noticed this? when you're nearing the exams and you're just a few days away from the end, you start getting distracted thinking about all the things you are gonna do once the exams are over? that's fine. but then you start remembering also all the things you have not done and suddenly have the strong urge to do them. eg. reply a "friend's" email which was sent long ago. and you also do the most time-wasting thing in the world like blog..
and the best part is,
when the exams ARE actually over, you somehow just dont feel like doing all the things you had wanted to do and just go party all the way.
it has always been this way for me since psle. irritating ttm.
ok im really just bored of studying. although my study plan for today was a total failure coz i'd rather do smth else than study duh. anything but study. probably only studied for 1/3 of what i set out to do. and i dont think i'll be able to accomplish much tmr either.
will be so zzz after lunch. and then zzz for the rest of the day as usual. grr.
next sem.
we are so gonna work our asses off.
(:
ps. missing you.
and the best part is,
when the exams ARE actually over, you somehow just dont feel like doing all the things you had wanted to do and just go party all the way.
it has always been this way for me since psle. irritating ttm.
ok im really just bored of studying. although my study plan for today was a total failure coz i'd rather do smth else than study duh. anything but study. probably only studied for 1/3 of what i set out to do. and i dont think i'll be able to accomplish much tmr either.
will be so zzz after lunch. and then zzz for the rest of the day as usual. grr.
next sem.
we are so gonna work our asses off.
(:
ps. missing you.
somebody's being such a piggy!
and bargaining with me about the time i should call him up.
and im alr done with breakfast and devo and 1 set of cardio. :P
'845 can pls?' HAHA.
its a saturday so i think i shall be nice.
yay chiong day. 12 hours here we go. :D with peeing, bathing, eating, slacking time taken into consideration. 8am- 11pm.
to do:
- ALL physio.
FIGHTING! *naruto rising fighting spirit song plays in the background*
[edit]
oh ho these are the replies i got from my parents when i told them about the crazy stunt i pulled ytd.
daddy: i trust yr decision. jia oil!!!
mummy: u decide lor.
hahaha. nice.
[/edit]
and bargaining with me about the time i should call him up.
and im alr done with breakfast and devo and 1 set of cardio. :P
'845 can pls?' HAHA.
its a saturday so i think i shall be nice.
yay chiong day. 12 hours here we go. :D with peeing, bathing, eating, slacking time taken into consideration. 8am- 11pm.
to do:
- ALL physio.
FIGHTING! *naruto rising fighting spirit song plays in the background*
[edit]
oh ho these are the replies i got from my parents when i told them about the crazy stunt i pulled ytd.
daddy: i trust yr decision. jia oil!!!
mummy: u decide lor.
hahaha. nice.
[/edit]
Friday, April 15
cant wait for tmr!!
coz im SOOO hungry! wanna eat yummy breakfast! hee!
excitingzxxzzx day today i must say(:
tried new things!
yeah first time paying 48 for stuff i dont need -.- i only need the paper and not whatever that comes w it. and i happily walked out forgetting what i didnt need. which was hmm.. kinda obvious. HAHAAH.
anw im worried.
i want yet i dont want. next time not now.
):
i'll give u 10more days.
ok i dont know what im talking about... sleepy... but i know tmr gonna wake at 6.15 for fun whee!
oh yay sign lang and dance during holssss!
coz im SOOO hungry! wanna eat yummy breakfast! hee!
excitingzxxzzx day today i must say(:
tried new things!
yeah first time paying 48 for stuff i dont need -.- i only need the paper and not whatever that comes w it. and i happily walked out forgetting what i didnt need. which was hmm.. kinda obvious. HAHAAH.
anw im worried.
i want yet i dont want. next time not now.
):
i'll give u 10more days.
ok i dont know what im talking about... sleepy... but i know tmr gonna wake at 6.15 for fun whee!
oh yay sign lang and dance during holssss!
Wednesday, April 13
NEEDS TO WHINE.
so so angsty right now.
RAWRR!!!
so this was what happened.
i was bored from mugging, so i started fiddling around with my GC.
then suddenly thought of binomial in finite math. links it to the GC i was holding.
"HEY! GC CAN SOLVE BINOMIAL!!!!!"
tries to recall what was taught in jc.
went to search my whole GC, pressing random buttons.
finally found it. under 2ndf vars.(distr)
then scrolled down to see what i can find.
found binomcdf linked to cumulative distributive function, so just pressed it.
rmb had to key in 3 functions.
so played ard till i friggin got the answer.
SO DAMN HAPPY!
"YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!"
then rmb..
"eh? finite maths can use GC??"
went to check.
im sure any bloody fool would know the answer i got.
hooray.......
so so angsty right now.
RAWRR!!!
so this was what happened.
i was bored from mugging, so i started fiddling around with my GC.
then suddenly thought of binomial in finite math. links it to the GC i was holding.
"HEY! GC CAN SOLVE BINOMIAL!!!!!"
tries to recall what was taught in jc.
went to search my whole GC, pressing random buttons.
finally found it. under 2ndf vars.(distr)
then scrolled down to see what i can find.
found binomcdf linked to cumulative distributive function, so just pressed it.
rmb had to key in 3 functions.
so played ard till i friggin got the answer.
SO DAMN HAPPY!
"YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!"
then rmb..
"eh? finite maths can use GC??"
went to check.
im sure any bloody fool would know the answer i got.
hooray.......
Tuesday, April 12
dont know if its a good or bad thing but sometimes, i feel im like my dad.
saw him exceptionally clearly in me ytd.
big decision needs to be made, quickly considers pros and cons, makes the decision never to look back, faces whatever consequence that may come from that decision, good or bad.
somehow i feel its pretty much like him.
ok i agree it could be a bad thing in making decisions so quickly coz there might be the possibility that not all options were thoroughly considered, but when i made the final call ytd, i felt totally at peace and relieved. it was a peace that i couldnt explain and i thank God for giving me the courage to finally take my stand.
and i actually feel proud of myself tbh haha. well, coz.. im willing to face the consequences.
worse case scenario, expelled. pay back 1 year sch fees and salary. but.. what is the probability of that happening man.
oh that reminds me. i havent told my parents.
but i know they wont scold me or anything coz i DO know exactly what im doing. and even if they do, its MY school life and i DO know how to go about doing things that will help me.
resorting to this isnt smth to be proud of but im fine with it so long as i get what i set out to achieve at the end of 4 years.
i hope to look back after i graduate and say with smile, these were the 2 jokers that stuck by me, tested the school system and got out of it scratch-free. really glad to have them in my life, making school life so much less mundane and i believe what we are gonna do will the first and last time we get to do it till forever.
now.
one last important question for clarissa.
which clinic will you be going to?
A for number theory.
gpa? not 5.00.
saw him exceptionally clearly in me ytd.
big decision needs to be made, quickly considers pros and cons, makes the decision never to look back, faces whatever consequence that may come from that decision, good or bad.
somehow i feel its pretty much like him.
ok i agree it could be a bad thing in making decisions so quickly coz there might be the possibility that not all options were thoroughly considered, but when i made the final call ytd, i felt totally at peace and relieved. it was a peace that i couldnt explain and i thank God for giving me the courage to finally take my stand.
and i actually feel proud of myself tbh haha. well, coz.. im willing to face the consequences.
worse case scenario, expelled. pay back 1 year sch fees and salary. but.. what is the probability of that happening man.
oh that reminds me. i havent told my parents.
but i know they wont scold me or anything coz i DO know exactly what im doing. and even if they do, its MY school life and i DO know how to go about doing things that will help me.
resorting to this isnt smth to be proud of but im fine with it so long as i get what i set out to achieve at the end of 4 years.
i hope to look back after i graduate and say with smile, these were the 2 jokers that stuck by me, tested the school system and got out of it scratch-free. really glad to have them in my life, making school life so much less mundane and i believe what we are gonna do will the first and last time we get to do it till forever.
now.
one last important question for clarissa.
which clinic will you be going to?
A for number theory.
gpa? not 5.00.
Tuesday, April 5
Sunday, April 3
much as i dont want to go for dinner with the family, i shall drag myself there coz tumbi's bringing me back to hall!
wanna study, but eating crab and studying will never ever go tgt unless somebody peels the crab for me. but clarence isnt hereeee. boo.. can sense its gonna be boring. sigh
and i cant camwhore much coz firstly, i dont even wanna bother dressing up, and secondly, my cam has one bar of batt left! great.
i wanna finish up lab report by tonight!
done with als and ict! yessss.
after physio report, its down to studying for finite maths test on wed.
after wed. its 10 days to study/practice number theory. dont think there's time..
grah im sorry all my posts are on counting down, exams and assignments.
hhahha. gimme 22 more days. and then there wont be anymore stuff like these till 7months' time? :D
still amazed at how you work your magic.
just a phonecall and problem solved.
think its the sincerity in your voice that melts my heart each time. haha.
i know what i gotta work on.
please dont spoil me with all your magic.
(:
wanna study, but eating crab and studying will never ever go tgt unless somebody peels the crab for me. but clarence isnt hereeee. boo.. can sense its gonna be boring. sigh
and i cant camwhore much coz firstly, i dont even wanna bother dressing up, and secondly, my cam has one bar of batt left! great.
i wanna finish up lab report by tonight!
done with als and ict! yessss.
after physio report, its down to studying for finite maths test on wed.
after wed. its 10 days to study/practice number theory. dont think there's time..
grah im sorry all my posts are on counting down, exams and assignments.
hhahha. gimme 22 more days. and then there wont be anymore stuff like these till 7months' time? :D
still amazed at how you work your magic.
just a phonecall and problem solved.
think its the sincerity in your voice that melts my heart each time. haha.
i know what i gotta work on.
please dont spoil me with all your magic.
(:
Friday, April 1
Thursday, March 31
counting down down downnnn.
chionging biomech now. trying to finish it by today so i can go homeee. i dont really want to coz studying is better in hall, but we've gotta meet up for discussion on fri. blah.
am really tired.
sigh.
number theory is the most worrying subject right now ):
but its ok. i dont really care anw.
right. back to biomech.
chionging biomech now. trying to finish it by today so i can go homeee. i dont really want to coz studying is better in hall, but we've gotta meet up for discussion on fri. blah.
am really tired.
sigh.
number theory is the most worrying subject right now ):
but its ok. i dont really care anw.
right. back to biomech.
Monday, March 28
Steven Curtis Chapman - Cinderella (w/ lyrics)
heard this song randomly and was like.. awwww.. i think thats how daddy will feel soon.. its a little like 'butterfly kisses'. think this song is really nice anw.
(:
i know i shouldnt be blogging either! hahah but just gotta share this.
i know many ppl think i dont blog anymore, so to the ones that do come here once in awhile, just go listen to it ok! (:
She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders
It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you
There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...
She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
She will be gone
Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
anw ive asked mummy to change my fb password and keep it away from me till exams are over.
and she friggin posted on her wall abt it and sanjay saw and kinda announced it to the class?? like -.- so embarrassing.. gotta resort to this just coz ive no more discipline.
and 11 ppl liked that comment at the time i saw it from sanjay's acct. haha. zzzzz
ok. back to research paper. yay its looking gooood. haha :D
(:
i know i shouldnt be blogging either! hahah but just gotta share this.
i know many ppl think i dont blog anymore, so to the ones that do come here once in awhile, just go listen to it ok! (:
She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders
It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you
There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...
She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
She will be gone
Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone
anw ive asked mummy to change my fb password and keep it away from me till exams are over.
and she friggin posted on her wall abt it and sanjay saw and kinda announced it to the class?? like -.- so embarrassing.. gotta resort to this just coz ive no more discipline.
and 11 ppl liked that comment at the time i saw it from sanjay's acct. haha. zzzzz
ok. back to research paper. yay its looking gooood. haha :D
gonna be needing tremendous willpower, discipline, determination and of coz, His help, guidance and very much, His company during these 3 weeks.
i will not do these till 20apr (starting from 28mar 0700hrs) :
1) facebook
2) youtube
3) blog
4) train
5) slack/go out/etcetc (which includes things which will not be mentioned here)
6) go home on thurs nights
7) tuition (HOORAY!)
i will do these starting from 28mar 0700hrs till 24apr:
1) study
2) study
3) study
4) straight to hall after school
5) tabao dinners up
6) stay in hall till sat 8pm
need His help in giving me the strength to resist the temptation of what im not supposed to do till 20apr. its gonna be a long long long 28 days.
2more days to research paper 1st draft submission (45%done)
3more days to number theory mock exam. (0% done)
5more days to biomech lab report submission (10 % done)
8more days to ict group work submission (100% done)
9more days to physio lab report submission (35% done)
12more days to research paper submission (100% done).
18more days to number theory exam.
22more days to anat/biomech exam.
23more days to physio exam
28more days to FM exam
28more days to FREEDOM.
im trying to figure out how to block fb but its not working haha. guess i just gotta stop myself from fb-ing. its such a waste of precious study time.
yay. im starting to sound like the clarissa t. i know. and im lovin' it.
discipline, baby, discipline.
mugmugmug. so you can playplayplay on the 25apr.
25apr maroon5! GO?? :D
10may lion king! CONFIRMED! (can't waaaiiitttt)
also cant wait to go bangkok with my family at the end of the year! minus clarence plus gummy! QUITE CONFIRMED! yayyayyay.
okies gonna sleep now!
jiayou to whoever's dying under the workload. (:
i will not do these till 20apr (starting from 28mar 0700hrs) :
1) facebook
2) youtube
3) blog
4) train
5) slack/go out/etcetc (which includes things which will not be mentioned here)
6) go home on thurs nights
7) tuition (HOORAY!)
i will do these starting from 28mar 0700hrs till 24apr:
1) study
2) study
3) study
4) straight to hall after school
5) tabao dinners up
6) stay in hall till sat 8pm
need His help in giving me the strength to resist the temptation of what im not supposed to do till 20apr. its gonna be a long long long 28 days.
9more days to physio lab report submission (35% done)
18more days to number theory exam.
22more days to anat/biomech exam.
23more days to physio exam
28more days to FM exam
28more days to FREEDOM.
im trying to figure out how to block fb but its not working haha. guess i just gotta stop myself from fb-ing. its such a waste of precious study time.
yay. im starting to sound like the clarissa t. i know. and im lovin' it.
discipline, baby, discipline.
mugmugmug. so you can playplayplay on the 25apr.
25apr maroon5! GO?? :D
10may lion king! CONFIRMED! (can't waaaiiitttt)
also cant wait to go bangkok with my family at the end of the year! minus clarence plus gummy! QUITE CONFIRMED! yayyayyay.
okies gonna sleep now!
jiayou to whoever's dying under the workload. (:
Saturday, March 26
whheeee so many plans!
in about 30 days!
can't wait! counting downnn.
(:
thank you elbow.
because of you, i cant compete in big race. haha.
not complaining much coz i can study more.
all the best to those racing later! will be up and chionging with you. just that i'll be chionging essay while you guys are chionging chionging ):
glad i did smth today.
zeejs is gonna do biomech for gummy and i. and why? "coz i know you two sure dont know how to do one!"
hahah. such a nice guy huh. -.- but im still not complaining! at least he's gonna do it for us man. but in return, we do ict for him. still fine. forgot all my physics alr..
so we did some als, some biomech and some ict. not bad. in 6 hours. quite proud of us. yay. clapclap!
you're my favouritest :D
and i know you will keep to your word.
hee.
in about 30 days!
can't wait! counting downnn.
(:
thank you elbow.
because of you, i cant compete in big race. haha.
not complaining much coz i can study more.
all the best to those racing later! will be up and chionging with you. just that i'll be chionging essay while you guys are chionging chionging ):
glad i did smth today.
zeejs is gonna do biomech for gummy and i. and why? "coz i know you two sure dont know how to do one!"
hahah. such a nice guy huh. -.- but im still not complaining! at least he's gonna do it for us man. but in return, we do ict for him. still fine. forgot all my physics alr..
so we did some als, some biomech and some ict. not bad. in 6 hours. quite proud of us. yay. clapclap!
you're my favouritest :D
and i know you will keep to your word.
hee.
Friday, March 25
i know its a little late now but today(or ytd in fact),
would have been his birthday.
his 21st.
so many things that might have been.
a party perhaps?
but who am i to think of what would have been right?
i look at our xc photo and sigh whenever my eyes look over to where he stood.
and whisper a simple prayer for his family everytime i do.
think about the good times we had, training, studying, competing.
his laugh, his hair, his sunglasses(which i reallyreally liked!), his smile, his bike, him in his tri suit, in his red cycling jersey...
rmb his last sentence to me.
"wah. never train still can race ah!" at the bike racks during seagames timetrial 07.
to which my reply was.."shut up la. i'll see you at the end hor." which obviously didnt happen.
all the memories flooding back now as im writing this.
rmb wanting to call him after getting back results for CT1 i think, to ask him how he did. already actually picked up the phone to dial then it hit me that he wouldnt be answering the phone again. not ever.
its been almost 4 years now. but i still miss him terribly(im sure many ppl do) everytime i walk past his picture and when the memories come back.
the pair of shoes are in sight now as im typing. the shoelaces left in that pattern since 5 years ago. and will always be left like that for as long as i live. that pair of shoes is so worn out, the sole is peeling, the cloth is greyish but the shoelaces remain untouched.
am smiling thinking of all the funny things that happened during training. flying over the hump after going so fast downslope at lower pierce. crashing head-on into you while sprinting 50m in the pool from opposite ends...
sigh. thank you for the wonderful memories you left behind with me. you'll always be remembered and dearly missed.
happy 21st birthday, dearest thad. hope you're doing great up there.
had a very enjoyable evening today.
thanks to gummy.
bought new shoes.
laughed like there was no tmr.
lived the night like there was no assignments due.
an evening well spent.
lovin' my life baby. hell yeaaaahhh(:
but hmm i do wish to get back the old muggertoad i was last sem haha.
would have been his birthday.
his 21st.
so many things that might have been.
a party perhaps?
but who am i to think of what would have been right?
i look at our xc photo and sigh whenever my eyes look over to where he stood.
and whisper a simple prayer for his family everytime i do.
think about the good times we had, training, studying, competing.
his laugh, his hair, his sunglasses(which i reallyreally liked!), his smile, his bike, him in his tri suit, in his red cycling jersey...
rmb his last sentence to me.
"wah. never train still can race ah!" at the bike racks during seagames timetrial 07.
to which my reply was.."shut up la. i'll see you at the end hor." which obviously didnt happen.
all the memories flooding back now as im writing this.
rmb wanting to call him after getting back results for CT1 i think, to ask him how he did. already actually picked up the phone to dial then it hit me that he wouldnt be answering the phone again. not ever.
its been almost 4 years now. but i still miss him terribly(im sure many ppl do) everytime i walk past his picture and when the memories come back.
the pair of shoes are in sight now as im typing. the shoelaces left in that pattern since 5 years ago. and will always be left like that for as long as i live. that pair of shoes is so worn out, the sole is peeling, the cloth is greyish but the shoelaces remain untouched.
am smiling thinking of all the funny things that happened during training. flying over the hump after going so fast downslope at lower pierce. crashing head-on into you while sprinting 50m in the pool from opposite ends...
sigh. thank you for the wonderful memories you left behind with me. you'll always be remembered and dearly missed.
happy 21st birthday, dearest thad. hope you're doing great up there.
had a very enjoyable evening today.
thanks to gummy.
bought new shoes.
laughed like there was no tmr.
lived the night like there was no assignments due.
an evening well spent.
lovin' my life baby. hell yeaaaahhh(:
but hmm i do wish to get back the old muggertoad i was last sem haha.
Sunday, March 20
15 more days.
to do ict group assignment.
physio lab report
biomech lab report
als research paper
HAHAHAAHA so dead. so dead its really quite funny coz ive not started on any! and there's number theory test on wed. oooooohhh and i think als draft is due tues! wow.
and theres comp on sat.
which i think i cant go coz of my stupid elbow. how to swim man. and how to play doubles tourney on wed and thu! not funny leh. ):
okok nvm.. i'll just work on one at a time. physio here i come.
y1sem2 is SCROOOED for clarissa t.
lmao. lalala. just cant wait for after exams. in abt.. 35 more days time.
to do ict group assignment.
physio lab report
biomech lab report
als research paper
HAHAHAAHA so dead. so dead its really quite funny coz ive not started on any! and there's number theory test on wed. oooooohhh and i think als draft is due tues! wow.
and theres comp on sat.
which i think i cant go coz of my stupid elbow. how to swim man. and how to play doubles tourney on wed and thu! not funny leh. ):
okok nvm.. i'll just work on one at a time. physio here i come.
y1sem2 is SCROOOED for clarissa t.
lmao. lalala. just cant wait for after exams. in abt.. 35 more days time.
to tummymonkethambibubby.
i feel like a princess when im with you.
happy and worry-free.
like there's not a care in this world.
you make me feel like there is nothing we can't face together.
when the world throws its junk at me, i know i'll be just fine.
coz you'll always be there whenever i need you.
you make me feel brave.
in times of uncertainty, you reassure me with your hugs and loving words.
and i know everything's gonna be alright.
with you, unhappiness never lasts for long.
you always see the need to make sure everything is fine with me.
and do all you can to fix the problem.
i see and appreciate so much the effort you put in.
just to make me feel
like a princess when im with you.
1+1=2.
iloveyou
(:
i feel like a princess when im with you.
happy and worry-free.
like there's not a care in this world.
you make me feel like there is nothing we can't face together.
when the world throws its junk at me, i know i'll be just fine.
coz you'll always be there whenever i need you.
you make me feel brave.
in times of uncertainty, you reassure me with your hugs and loving words.
and i know everything's gonna be alright.
with you, unhappiness never lasts for long.
you always see the need to make sure everything is fine with me.
and do all you can to fix the problem.
i see and appreciate so much the effort you put in.
just to make me feel
like a princess when im with you.
1+1=2.
iloveyou
(:
Sunday, March 13
so many assignments due soon. will take them on one by one. i know we will be able to do it. while having fun hahahah.
sigh it sucks being without a phone! i cant randomly check in to places just for the heck of it. cant play fruit ninja(LOL). cant check the time(am watch-less too). and of coz, cant sms important ppl! ): have to resort to fb msg. dont like.. ):
been eating alot alot lately. gained 2 kg hohoho. and not been trng, when big comp is 13 days away. niceee. just too lazy and have no motivation to race coz its pool swim wth. sian ttm.
so many plans. all sounds so exciting and well-thought out. but how much of it is gonna come to past?
how does one love somebody, whom one doesnt even know, so much? and how can one want to meet that somebody so much, when that somebody doesnt even exist?
i believe its just a phase of life we all go through... but i just want to see her so badly..
just waiting for my turn. for plans to become reality.
for you.
for N.C.
Tuesday, March 1
sometimes i feel im too sharp(as b puts it) for my own good.
ok i guess its fine being sharp in observing, but maybe i should learn to act blur and keep my mouth shut. hahah.
even to friends whom i can trust.
guess its time for me to learn not to trust everybody that easily.
its just me to observe smth interesting and tell it to the ppl i trust. but now its different, coz the person i trust is the person whom i observed and noticed smth interesting about heh.
yeah. damn. should have just shut up and acted blur.
aiyah. clar ah clar. please hurry up and learn how to shut up and act blur. and then you'll be just fine. sometimes ppl just cant handle the truth. or they dont actually want ppl to see it and when ppl do, they get upset. shrugs. well. there you go, the ppl i trust are of this sort. disappointing.
anw,
today was a battlestar galactica for me!
too much for my weak heart to handle man.
(HAHAHA RANDOM BUT I CAN HEAR YINGEN AND FA TALKING AND LAUGHING FROM THE ROOM ACROSS MINE HAHHA. its been awhile since i held a conversation from the window!)
ok cont,
as i was saying, many interesting things happened today starting as early as a phonecall at 7.25am. that was the biggest heartattack )):
and then throughout the day. smses which freaked me out. happiness when i thought everything's gonna be alright, sadness and pain when i realised that it was actually quite bad, excitement when i knew how cool they were abt stuff and he didnt had to lie anymore, pissed at the abovementioned issue when i tried to be honest, angsty at how i couldnt do my work, thoughts of retaking the mod. which is up till now actually. so ya thats abt it. its almost the end of 0103. wonder if there will be another exciting twist to be added on to my sufficiently interesting day.
phew.
gotta wake a pig up at 12.
test tmr. havent done any tutorials for the chapters tested. dont understand anything.
WTH. i wrote smth RIGHT HERE. but it got deleted by blogger coz there was html error. like how i cant do a heart shape coz of the "<" sign?
anw.. im too lazy to type out what i wrote again, so i'll summarise.
arms aching badly. from injection and training and comps. contemplating if i should go for TT tmr coz i dont HAVE to. they dont even have enough girls so we'll all be selected for the team. come on. -.- go and kill myself for what. guess im lucky that way. the guys are all working their asses off, secret trngs all just to get the chance to represent sch. well.. its good to be a girl hahaha :D
okays back to work. will stay up till 130am.
ok i guess its fine being sharp in observing, but maybe i should learn to act blur and keep my mouth shut. hahah.
even to friends whom i can trust.
guess its time for me to learn not to trust everybody that easily.
its just me to observe smth interesting and tell it to the ppl i trust. but now its different, coz the person i trust is the person whom i observed and noticed smth interesting about heh.
yeah. damn. should have just shut up and acted blur.
aiyah. clar ah clar. please hurry up and learn how to shut up and act blur. and then you'll be just fine. sometimes ppl just cant handle the truth. or they dont actually want ppl to see it and when ppl do, they get upset. shrugs. well. there you go, the ppl i trust are of this sort. disappointing.
anw,
today was a battlestar galactica for me!
too much for my weak heart to handle man.
(HAHAHA RANDOM BUT I CAN HEAR YINGEN AND FA TALKING AND LAUGHING FROM THE ROOM ACROSS MINE HAHHA. its been awhile since i held a conversation from the window!)
ok cont,
as i was saying, many interesting things happened today starting as early as a phonecall at 7.25am. that was the biggest heartattack )):
and then throughout the day. smses which freaked me out. happiness when i thought everything's gonna be alright, sadness and pain when i realised that it was actually quite bad, excitement when i knew how cool they were abt stuff and he didnt had to lie anymore, pissed at the abovementioned issue when i tried to be honest, angsty at how i couldnt do my work, thoughts of retaking the mod. which is up till now actually. so ya thats abt it. its almost the end of 0103. wonder if there will be another exciting twist to be added on to my sufficiently interesting day.
phew.
gotta wake a pig up at 12.
test tmr. havent done any tutorials for the chapters tested. dont understand anything.
anw.. im too lazy to type out what i wrote again, so i'll summarise.
arms aching badly. from injection and training and comps. contemplating if i should go for TT tmr coz i dont HAVE to. they dont even have enough girls so we'll all be selected for the team. come on. -.- go and kill myself for what. guess im lucky that way. the guys are all working their asses off, secret trngs all just to get the chance to represent sch. well.. its good to be a girl hahaha :D
okays back to work. will stay up till 130am.
Saturday, February 26
IN LOVE WITH MY WICKED EARPHONES.
makes almost every song sound so good. (:
i like my beat fast and my bass down lowwww.
HAHAH. random shit. forgot where i heard it from anw.
woke up before 6am today and was running my ass off for ihg at 8.10am.
forgot to start my stopwatch after receiving the "baton". so i have no idea how slow i ran. angst. but i did my best and it was damn awesome! the pain, baby. the pain in my legs, my chest, awesome awesome feeling. but would i do it again? HAAHHA only if im forced to. like this time. me is damn lazy. :P
we got 12th placing overall. HAHAHAHAH LMAO SUCKS TTM. :P hope my overtaking of 5 girls and 1 guy did some good man... but doesnt matter luh huh. it was an improvement from last year i heard. haha wtv. ITS OVER. think im like high. coz my earphones are so good. :D
swimming tmr.
im really praying medley doesnt get into finals. coz i soooo dont wanna swim fly TWICE. nononono. i'll die i swear. friggin scared i'll drown at the last 10m seriously. havent done the full 50m in full speed since..... sec3? woohoo. the last time i tried shenglin was laughing at me die. reason im dying: coz i never go bi trng. same reason why i spilled tauhuay over my floor, and why i wasnt used to my hands being wrinkly after swim. my bi team are damn retard and awesome bunch(: but too bad none of them will get to read this. but love them all the same! haha.
supposed to be anatomising(according to sanjay) now. but im right here haahah. wtv. im trying to be a mugger, but am always failing.. hahaha. esp this sem man. no discipline, clarissa tan!!!!
but guitaring for an hour today was shiok ttm. hee.
okokokok fine. i'll start anatomising. soon. hehs.
countdown to sun 1 pm is on babe. cant wait. 20.5 hours. hahah which means i effectively wasted away 6.5 hours! WAH TAN HUI MIN IS PRO. nais.nais.
only you have the power to subdue my anger/unhappiness that quickly. somehow you just can. (:
makes almost every song sound so good. (:
i like my beat fast and my bass down lowwww.
HAHAH. random shit. forgot where i heard it from anw.
woke up before 6am today and was running my ass off for ihg at 8.10am.
forgot to start my stopwatch after receiving the "baton". so i have no idea how slow i ran. angst. but i did my best and it was damn awesome! the pain, baby. the pain in my legs, my chest, awesome awesome feeling. but would i do it again? HAAHHA only if im forced to. like this time. me is damn lazy. :P
we got 12th placing overall. HAHAHAHAH LMAO SUCKS TTM. :P hope my overtaking of 5 girls and 1 guy did some good man... but doesnt matter luh huh. it was an improvement from last year i heard. haha wtv. ITS OVER. think im like high. coz my earphones are so good. :D
swimming tmr.
im really praying medley doesnt get into finals. coz i soooo dont wanna swim fly TWICE. nononono. i'll die i swear. friggin scared i'll drown at the last 10m seriously. havent done the full 50m in full speed since..... sec3? woohoo. the last time i tried shenglin was laughing at me die. reason im dying: coz i never go bi trng. same reason why i spilled tauhuay over my floor, and why i wasnt used to my hands being wrinkly after swim. my bi team are damn retard and awesome bunch(: but too bad none of them will get to read this. but love them all the same! haha.
supposed to be anatomising(according to sanjay) now. but im right here haahah. wtv. im trying to be a mugger, but am always failing.. hahaha. esp this sem man. no discipline, clarissa tan!!!!
but guitaring for an hour today was shiok ttm. hee.
okokokok fine. i'll start anatomising. soon. hehs.
countdown to sun 1 pm is on babe. cant wait. 20.5 hours. hahah which means i effectively wasted away 6.5 hours! WAH TAN HUI MIN IS PRO. nais.nais.
only you have the power to subdue my anger/unhappiness that quickly. somehow you just can. (:
Wednesday, February 23
fri gonna be quite exciting in the morn. teehee.
ok 3 more days. gotta start waking up at 6.30am and sleeping by 11pm. shift body clock in time for race on sat. wahhh sleep is such a waste of time.
mugger me wants to study but havent done anything for the last 7 hours that i said i would use to study. seriously. smth is terribly wrong. since when clarissatan so slack. bah.
M.Y.L.C.
):
ok 3 more days. gotta start waking up at 6.30am and sleeping by 11pm. shift body clock in time for race on sat. wahhh sleep is such a waste of time.
mugger me wants to study but havent done anything for the last 7 hours that i said i would use to study. seriously. smth is terribly wrong. since when clarissatan so slack. bah.
M.Y.L.C.
):
Tuesday, February 22
woohoo. cut hair on sun after swim comp. awesome. but sian cant shave bald. dangzzxxz. ):
and im seriously tempted to do acrylic but! i wont be able to play guitar after that.
and best thing im gonna have a guitar in hall soonsoon. heehee! damn excited.
*dances ard* cant wait cant wait.
like how i cant wait for sun. for everything to be over once and for all! omg!
ive wasted.. 8 hours alr. doing nothing when ive loads to complete. im damn awesome.
thanks!
and im seriously tempted to do acrylic but! i wont be able to play guitar after that.
and best thing im gonna have a guitar in hall soonsoon. heehee! damn excited.
*dances ard* cant wait cant wait.
like how i cant wait for sun. for everything to be over once and for all! omg!
ive wasted.. 8 hours alr. doing nothing when ive loads to complete. im damn awesome.
thanks!
daym when can i shave my head??? like seriously serious. i wannnnttttttt. but somebody would be angry HAHAHA. bleahs. oh wells.
and what the hell am i doing in hall on a recess week? why the heck am i staying in hall all week? this is ridiculous luhhh. and trainings are like at 10pm. hello dudes. you dont want to sleep i damn sure want to yknow. at 10pm-12am, i would be... fb-ing, (not like i dont do it during the rest of the day including during lects but its SOLELY fb-ing), doing my misc stuff, bathing, blog-surfing, doing devo, talking on the phone or msn-ing, cleaning room.
did i already mention that ihg is on sat and sun MORN? so why are we running at NIGHT. c'mon dudes. 7am is fine what. who ask y'all to have a 4am bedtime zzzzzzzz. oh wells. 3 more hours. not looking forward to it. SIGHS. whyyyy must comp be on a weekend. i love weekends! hahah who doesnt man :P weekends are the bombz.
You say that I'm messing with your head (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
All 'cause I was making out with your friends (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Love hurts whether it's right or wrong (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I can't stop 'cause I'm having too much fun (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
You're on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy
All my life I've been good but now, woah, I'm thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me, you can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now, whoa, what the hell
What... what... what... What the hell?
So what if I go out on a million dates (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
You never call or listen to me anyway (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I rather rage than sit around and wait all day (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don't get me wrong. I just need some time to play-ay (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
You're on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy
All my life I've been good but now, I'm thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me
You can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now, whoa, what the hell
La la la la la la la la... Woah... Woah...
La la la la la la la la... Woah... Woah...
You say that I'm messing with your head
Boy, I like messing in your bed
Yeah, I am messing with your head
When I'm messing with you in bed
All my life I've been good but now, I'm thinking what the hell (what the hell)
All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about (I don't care about)
All my life I've been good but now, I'm thinking what the hell
All I want is to mess around and I don't really care about. (if you love me)
If you love me (no), if you hate me (no)
You can't save me, baby, baby (if you love me)
All my life I've been good but now, whoa, what the hell
La la, La la la la la la, La la, La la la la la la la
not that i like the song but seriously, im done being a good girl.
and i like.
Sunday, February 20
even though it sure isnt 2359 yet.
it doesnt matter anymore.
forgetting is still forgetting.
and it doesnt change anything.
coz you forgot.
damn, i know im making you feel bad.
but think about how im feeling now.
like shit.
|||
as if strike 1 wasnt bad enough.
(:
[edit]
oh right right.
it isnt a fudging big deal.
it isnt even "real" per se.
i get it.
oh well.
how silly of me to think it really did matter.
DAMN. words. nth but words. empty empty words. coming out of your sweet sweet tongue.
[/edit]
it doesnt matter anymore.
forgetting is still forgetting.
and it doesnt change anything.
coz you forgot.
damn, i know im making you feel bad.
but think about how im feeling now.
like shit.
as if strike 1 wasnt bad enough.
(:
[edit]
oh right right.
it isnt a fudging big deal.
it isnt even "real" per se.
i get it.
oh well.
how silly of me to think it really did matter.
DAMN. words. nth but words. empty empty words. coming out of your sweet sweet tongue.
[/edit]
am i supposed to live with this?
accepting stuff that i'd never thought i would?
but this time, it'd be different.
i'd shut up.
watch as the day pass.
wait and hope till 2359.
and see what happens.
forgetfulness.
on a side note, pink is sooooo girly. hahhaha. need to find the time to change my template sooooon.
the incentive of going back home on a thu was so strong that i was forced to vomit out 500 words within 3 hours. 500 words of bullshit, that is. whoo. and the best thing! didnt even bother proofreading my stupid essay. i hate als101 ttm. there's still the friggin research paper. totally gonna die for that. but till then, i'll continue with wtv im doing now, taking things one step at a time. (which also means screwing school and just playing)
and a reward for bullshitting 1199words was dessert dessert and more yummy desserts adding 1kg to me! hhaha nice. but it was really quite awesome.
guitar-ing with daddy was like omg funfunfun. havent done that since i started picking up guitar from him in sec4. did some recordings. which was quite funny coz there were some screw ups. but oh wtv as long as its funnn! :D
i really really really hate to be reminded of that coz it really sucks to know im just a number 2. no matter what you say or how much u tell me it aint true or how much u try to make me forget, the fact still remains that im just another one. not the first. i do try to ignore and push it aside everytime the reminder alarm goes off. seriously. and i do just fine actually. until like today, something was said. and then i couldnt look at you again and had to turn away for awhile coz it hurt so bad. im sorry. i really tried to be fine. or tried to act like i was. and im sorry for not knowing how to articulate my feelings well enough. but even if i did, there isnt anything that you could or do. its a decision i have to make and stick with.
daddy says love never lasts. what is left when love is gone is the commitment.
i have a feeling he is right.
and that sucks leh. how love doesnt actually last.
so mama and kongkong are living tgt just to take care of each other. huh.. ): no likey..
and a reward for bullshitting 1199words was dessert dessert and more yummy desserts adding 1kg to me! hhaha nice. but it was really quite awesome.
guitar-ing with daddy was like omg funfunfun. havent done that since i started picking up guitar from him in sec4. did some recordings. which was quite funny coz there were some screw ups. but oh wtv as long as its funnn! :D
i really really really hate to be reminded of that coz it really sucks to know im just a number 2. no matter what you say or how much u tell me it aint true or how much u try to make me forget, the fact still remains that im just another one. not the first. i do try to ignore and push it aside everytime the reminder alarm goes off. seriously. and i do just fine actually. until like today, something was said. and then i couldnt look at you again and had to turn away for awhile coz it hurt so bad. im sorry. i really tried to be fine. or tried to act like i was. and im sorry for not knowing how to articulate my feelings well enough. but even if i did, there isnt anything that you could or do. its a decision i have to make and stick with.
daddy says love never lasts. what is left when love is gone is the commitment.
i have a feeling he is right.
and that sucks leh. how love doesnt actually last.
so mama and kongkong are living tgt just to take care of each other. huh.. ): no likey..
Tuesday, February 15
supposed to be doing work now but as usual, me is too lazy to. hehs.
funny isnt it, that when you're the most busy, you just wanna find time to do redundant stuff such as blogging. yours truly is a good example of one such person(:
dont even know what im doing here.
but im happy today and i wanna say it. hahaha.
thank God for the rain. hmm. rather ironic if i think about it. haha. its a thank you and im sorry. hmm. i dunno! but im happy anyhowsssss.
oh oh. my tennis shoes are finally wearing out! it lasted me a year and its still good actually.
so, the next time i go queensway this is what im gonna buy/do.
1. buy tennis shoes
2. buy ugly court shoes. ugh. gonna be needing it alot.
3. buy squash racket
4. buy badminton racket
5. buy tennis racket
6. go across to ikea for the heck of it and maybe eat some meatballs.
tennis match tmr. high chance we'll win the unfinished game tmr and so move on to quarter finals which is also tmr. meaning no time to do essay. whee. and fri is submission date.
not worrying actually coz i think i'll just crap. doesnt matter luh. als sucks to the core. -.-
i like the good mix of atypical and typical. HEHS. ;)
funny isnt it, that when you're the most busy, you just wanna find time to do redundant stuff such as blogging. yours truly is a good example of one such person(:
dont even know what im doing here.
but im happy today and i wanna say it. hahaha.
thank God for the rain. hmm. rather ironic if i think about it. haha. its a thank you and im sorry. hmm. i dunno! but im happy anyhowsssss.
oh oh. my tennis shoes are finally wearing out! it lasted me a year and its still good actually.
so, the next time i go queensway this is what im gonna buy/do.
1. buy tennis shoes
2. buy ugly court shoes. ugh. gonna be needing it alot.
3. buy squash racket
4. buy badminton racket
5. buy tennis racket
6. go across to ikea for the heck of it and maybe eat some meatballs.
tennis match tmr. high chance we'll win the unfinished game tmr and so move on to quarter finals which is also tmr. meaning no time to do essay. whee. and fri is submission date.
not worrying actually coz i think i'll just crap. doesnt matter luh. als sucks to the core. -.-
i like the good mix of atypical and typical. HEHS. ;)
Monday, February 14
its vday like finally!!! everyone is like oh so hyped up and happily going out for vday dinner all.
but well, i'm right here, stuck in hall, all alone, facing my lappie, trying to come up with words to fill up my als101 essay due in 4 days. so far, I've written... my name, my matric number, tutorial group. yay me. *london tipton style!*
so, the closest thing to a vday celebration for me was lunch at my hall canteen with mm. thank goodness i'm not really concerned about vday. i guess its good enough i got to spend time with the people i love.
so yeah. thats how my vday went. hope other ppl are having wayyy better vday than I am. Happy Vday! <3 okies back to work. ):
and thanks for the song you sang to me ;
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
La da da
Da da da da
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Coz all i need
Is you, my valentine
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
if you do rmb my blog add and come here, just wanna tell you.. there are certain things i would rather not let you know coz i feel its redundant and i do not want to force you into doing smth you do not want. you say you wanna change, but maybe i actually prefer how you were and change yes, but not to this extreme. ): oh wells. it now looks as though you're totally uninterested in stuff and its hurting me. im a girl afterall, rmb?
but well, i'm right here, stuck in hall, all alone, facing my lappie, trying to come up with words to fill up my als101 essay due in 4 days. so far, I've written... my name, my matric number, tutorial group. yay me. *london tipton style!*
so, the closest thing to a vday celebration for me was lunch at my hall canteen with mm. thank goodness i'm not really concerned about vday. i guess its good enough i got to spend time with the people i love.
so yeah. thats how my vday went. hope other ppl are having wayyy better vday than I am. Happy Vday! <3 okies back to work. ):
and thanks for the song you sang to me ;
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
La da da
Da da da da
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Coz all i need
Is you, my valentine
You're all i need
My love, my valentine
if you do rmb my blog add and come here, just wanna tell you.. there are certain things i would rather not let you know coz i feel its redundant and i do not want to force you into doing smth you do not want. you say you wanna change, but maybe i actually prefer how you were and change yes, but not to this extreme. ): oh wells. it now looks as though you're totally uninterested in stuff and its hurting me. im a girl afterall, rmb?
Sunday, January 16
WHOO finally back from my hiatus!
but i dont believe that anybody will come here anymore since it hasnt been updated for months. which is actually good heh. :D
right now, i believe, if i talk about my little "adventures" during the hols up till now, it would be from a biased pov. hmm.. guess i shouldnt talk abt them then. but just so you know, it was AWESOME. thrilling, exciting, heart-stopping,eye-opening, exhausting, worrying, magical. hahahha spam adjectives. but its all true. (:
guess ive been having too much fun during the hols such that even though its already a week into the semester, im still in the holiday mood. I kinda blame it on the 3 hour breaks! we stone, tennis(:D), drive out for lunch and do anything but study. feels so holiday-ish. which is friggin fun. but of coz, as usual, two sides to a coin, fun during breaks vs ending late. 530/630.
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
Small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
Cause the last time you saw me
Still burns in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself pleading
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized I loved you in the fall
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
I miss your tan skin your sweet smiles so good to me so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably my mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door I understand
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
half-apt.
sometimes i look back and wish it could last for a long long time. preferably forever. sigh.
yet again, i look forward to june. hope it materializes. :D
but i dont believe that anybody will come here anymore since it hasnt been updated for months. which is actually good heh. :D
right now, i believe, if i talk about my little "adventures" during the hols up till now, it would be from a biased pov. hmm.. guess i shouldnt talk abt them then. but just so you know, it was AWESOME. thrilling, exciting, heart-stopping,eye-opening, exhausting, worrying, magical. hahahha spam adjectives. but its all true. (:
guess ive been having too much fun during the hols such that even though its already a week into the semester, im still in the holiday mood. I kinda blame it on the 3 hour breaks! we stone, tennis(:D), drive out for lunch and do anything but study. feels so holiday-ish. which is friggin fun. but of coz, as usual, two sides to a coin, fun during breaks vs ending late. 530/630.
I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
Small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
Cause the last time you saw me
Still burns in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself pleading
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized I loved you in the fall
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
I miss your tan skin your sweet smiles so good to me so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably my mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door I understand
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
half-apt.
sometimes i look back and wish it could last for a long long time. preferably forever. sigh.
yet again, i look forward to june. hope it materializes. :D
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