hmm.

like argh!
i friggin forgot to bring my swimming costume to training ytd!
so did exercises and stretchcords. 4 x 3mins.
killerrrr..
wtv.

wq was helping me with my work for awhile.
ahhhhh soo nice soo nice.
wl the interns just cant stop disturbing me..... arghh..
like super funny. hahahah!
and oh nooo..... thurs is their last day at tas.... ))))):
they're like asking me to go dinner with them. i want to.. but there's training...
ha! anw! wq says we will still meet up! yayss! :D

OH. sorry for being so messy. anw it doesnt matter whether it makes sense or not. i understand enough alr. :P


anw.. trng today at macr. pam and i were slacking like crazy.
went DG with tiff before that.
then stayed there until 6plus.
eating damn nice carrot cake. but she was eating macs. hahah!

the warmth;

loveees (:

woah. where do i start?

250707 wed
ran alone in the rain for like 30-40mins.
rusheddd all the way to holiday inn atrium.
started digging in a million boxes for competitors' race kit.
after like 3 hours, jerry asked me go help cut bubble wrap for elite competitors' bikes.
went home at like 10 plus.


260707thu
rushed to holiday inn atrium again.
coz forgot to bring back my bros and my race kits.
rained like super heavy.
stayed awhile to help cut more bubble wrap. haha.
went home to put things down.
went back to school.
library.
home.


270707fri
went race recce at ecp after school.
super tired so slept in car.
woke up. saw them cycling past.
"WTH!"
fixed bike. went change.
waited for them to go one round.
cycled the run route with them.
didnt get to see bike route.
home.


280707 Sat
OSIM TRI. muddy muddyyy!
did sprint category.
brought the china ppl to recce the bike route.
(see above)
china girl like super tall. 16years old.
world champ for her age group.
"byebye gold..."
750m swim. 20km bike. 5km run.
felt so nooob.
"why am i doing sprint?? clar you lousy lah."
got out of swim before pam. (super unexpected!!!!)
guojl was like," pameLAH ne??" as i was running towards transition.
gave him surprised look.
saw pam's bike still hanging there.
"YESSSS!"
heard pam beside me.
worked ''together'' on the bike.
ok nvm. she's younger anw.
put down bike and zaooo!
dex's mum was like," first girl!!! first girl!!"
gave her surprised look.
"??? yeah right lah."
continued running.
came back at 1.18.29
waited for pam.
jingxian THE champ came over.
disturbed us. poured cold water on me.
so we poured water and HtwoO on his legs. omg super retarded! :D
rainedddd.
camwhored with pamm. rawks.
damn fun dayyyy! :DDDDDDDDD
bros did kids race! jotham's first tri! (:


290707 Sun
reached ecp at 5am. muddyyyy again!
jerry asked me to cut the boards with elite athletes' names.
cut. cut. cut. omg. cries.
saw Thad's board.
it said
'THADDEUS CHEONG WING KIT
A1'
placed the flowers on his bike rack.
stood there and looked until jerry called me.
walked with wq like all over the place.
came back and saw thad's bike and helmet.
cried infront jina.
she was like," pls dont make me cry now. i need to focus."
so i like looked away. hahahah.
watched the elite flag off.
omg. everybody who knew me were like," EH!you're supposed to be there!"
hee.
and they announced my name. argh.
was slacking with wq.omg.
just watching the whole race and cheering like crazy. hhaha!!
mok was like pro-ness. gino too!
ok all were! elaine, jina, shaun, clement, you guys did really well! (:
raineddd again. age groupers' race got cancelled.
modified- 400m run on beach, 20km bike, 5km run. lol!
volunteering with the tas interns are super funnnn! :D
POST RACE DINNER AT HOLIDAY INN ATRIUM.
met dex at lobby.
went in. coldest table ever.
super awkward for pamchia, crystal and me. eeks.
kept on going to get food. and toilet. just to get away. lol.
sat with interns. got saboed to take pic.
stupid wq and eugene!! i want kill both of you!!! ARGH.
nvm. dinner was super fun with them around. (:
love them alllll!
pam drove me back. hahah! so scaryyy! heehee!!
AHHH!!! YTD SOOO RAWKEDDD!!!


300707 todayy
didnt go class outing
went out with drey instead.
next time we should go wakeboarding lah!!
baked maria's jar mix.
er... what happened?? heeheehee.
i'll er.. try to get it out of the pan? :P
anw anw!
jina told me SPY wanted to tell me he missed me! :DDD
and i thought he forgot me alr. hahaha!
15910863424
and btw. THATS NOT A CODE. you can try if you dont believe. LOL.
I MISS YOU TOO, SPY! ):
thanks jina!
i still want QQ!!! then i can talk to SPY... hahaha.




ok. sorry for the super long post. alr tried to cut down. its all crap lah. bet no one will want to read all. hahahahah! kkk NITES.

random:
one day break was good.
wq is nice.
* gets me high.
although 153 is my max.

spirals down.

i can multitask babyy! im like chatting with 4 people (all different topics) , listening to music, eating, and doing pw.

i dont know what im doing ok.
why am i doing this?
its not even important.
maybe its coz i just wanted to be there.
love the atmosphere.
love the people.

and omg. wq was niceee! like sooooo nice canns. hahhaa. but he kept on bullying me!!! hmph. XP

yang/
i see you've grown up.
that was fast.
wish you all the best.
continue tri-ing.
i still miss you though. ):


ok anw. im friggin scared. not for saturday. what if......
i know maria doesnt like what i've been saying. hee. but really. its freaky kayy! i accidentally tore my foolscap paper right through the RAFFLES JUNIOR COLLEGE word. i still think its a sign. ooooh...
MARIA! THANK YOU SO MUCH! thanks for all the effort you've put in just to make my present. i really really appreciate it alot. I will make and bring it to school okay! hope i dont disappoint the pro! and i know you've been very caught up with dance and everything that's happened lately. sorry for not talking to you much that day. I didnt know. Thank you so much for being there for me today. (: and thanks for your encouraging letter. i love you loads too! :D




just one.

its been a month

seems like just yesterday we were training together, having fun and joking around.
seem like just yesterday we sprinted 50m from opposite ends of the pool and crashed into each other. (my bad. sorry! :P)
shucks ok i dont want say liao.

arghhh. kena scolding from weewee.... ):
God, what is it you want me to do? Why did you put me here? I dont even think i should be here. just look. look! im friggin tired. feeling so lousy. am i gonna waste one year just to start all over again somewhere else? i dont want, you know. jx already warned me. i want to prove to him i can do it. But wee's right. if i dont think i can make it, its best i go somewhere else asap. God, please tell me. Let me know what i should do. I really dont know how to comtinue, Lord. Please help me. PLEASE.



behind the smiles;
is ****.

uoyssimi

was randomly searching youtube to find the retardiculous jap game show. benyeo and i were laughing like crazy during pw. and kena scolding. hee. ah and i found this video. i think the one raph and dex did was much better. coz they've more pics.

i miss you so so much, thad.
miss seeing you around in school and at trainings.
miss your smile and your laughter.
miss your long fringe.
i miss you.

17

what birthday? hahaha.
cip the whole day.
aiyah. nvm. haha. the tas interns were really really nice.
sang me a birthday song! :D
a few cats were let out of the bag. LOL.
omg. super embarassing...
COACH jerry started it.
then they kept on disturbing whathisnameagain? gahhh.
-hides face.
and omg! the whole office knows bout my funny email reply. darn darn darn.
coz they asked if i could volunteer as a transition area marshall. so i replied," and get a suntan? alright!! set." thats all!!
and guojl thought i was 14 or 15!!! argh... lol.




and hey *. it was really nice of you to come down all they way just to give me my birthday present. i appreciate it. and its really really very nice! i love it loads. thank you! thanks for all the trouble you went through to get it done. (((:





ahaha. i dont feel like typing stuff now. so i'll just post some pics.






niceeee (:


ah. the 58 storey thingy. super cool.


and! there. see how TALL he is?! haha! and still growing. as 'reported' by jina.

oh yes!
jina: OH YEAH! eh! SPY that group coming for osim! yay! 5 more daeeees!!
clar: REEEAAALLLYY?!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!
jina: HA. but not SPY.
clar: HUHHHH............... budden you saidddd....
jina: i said SPY that group what. i never say SPY. HAHA! ^.^V

then she adds,
jina: AH. your letter can pass to them lah! ask them pass to SPY.
clar: but i dont want to write another chinese letterrr....
.
.
.

): thought i could finally see him again....

20072007

finally start blogging. was on this page for like 45mins. talking to tengteng. hahaha.
anw. nice date today. 20072007. niceee.
ok still not concentrating. hahaha. talk for 50mins alr. and still talking. lol!
ok dont want to blog alr. cannot blog alr. laugh too much alr.
tired.
goodnight.
1hr 30mins. still talking. she went toilet, so now i can type. ok she's back. and she wants to talk to me until 12am. so nice hahaha! ok 2 hours liao. HAHAHA!
ok its 12+.
nites ppl! will blog more tmr.


thanks alvin for counting down. thanks chindia and co. for the nice surprise. super funny. and thanks to the ppl who messed up my hair today. very funny huh. ok yeah very funny. hahaha!

the spyyy

these are the only pics we took together in china. ok shucks. i cant find the rest!!!!!!!! where is the one in which i looked super tiny standing beside him??!!!!! that was the very last pic we took on the second last day...

ok anyways... cq will help me translate the letter soon. i hope.

alright. gonna watch some gymnastics movie now. yay.

cya!

ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE COMPETING TMR!! :D

and thanks for counting down for me (:

you say one arh!every day every hour every min every sec ah! hahahah!

thanks loads! :D

miles apart

its been quite awhile since i last spoke to some people. people who mean alot to me. i miss hearing their voices... some are so so sooo far away while others are just a phone call away.


im starting to really miss SPY. thanks to me dad. hmph. i just turned on the chinese radio and..
dad: chinese songs remind you of SPY huh.
me: no..
dad: aiyah i bet you've forgotten about him already lah.
me: noo..
dad: then you still miss him arh?
me: nooo.. ok. yahh... -looks out of window=end convo now.


YES ok? YES. i do miss him. happy? 3.5 weeks wasnt enough. just when we were starting to get to know each other better, i had to leave... it was super super sad. controlled until i got home. like omg. dunno how many hours controlling like mad? told myself i couldnt cry as jingxian was scary, and pat was rather happy to be finally going back. haha.
I MISS YOU LOADS! ):
you were the best friend i made when i was there. thanks for everything!
3 songs remind me of you.
caocao by jjlin, drangonstea din tei and far away by nickelback (i cant believe i cried while listening to this song in class last year. darn.)
(letter coming soon)


AH yes. kena 'bitten' by clara on the head today. ouch. she and sihan were screaming like mad," AHHHHH!!!! GOT BLOOD GOT BLOOD!! MA'AM! COME AND SEEE!!!!" she was so scared i'd become stupidER then before. and still can ask whether i wanted a kiss. HAHAHAHAHA. super funny. i was like," er.. not from YOU! eeyer. dont steal my first kiss lah!" hahaha! when i went to the toilet it was my turn to scream. "AHHHHHH!!!!! MY HAIR!!! MY HAIR!!!" omg. it was super noisy in the toilet, with clara asking me my name, whats 2+2 and whether i needed a doctor. hahah!

oooohhh!!! thats hawt. -imitates paris hilton. ohmagawd. i cant believe maria didnt see that. HAWTNESS.. omg. when he came into our class, i was like,"SIHAN SIHAN!" and she was like," oooh! hotteh!heh heh!" hahahahahah! super funny. HAWT HAWT HAWT! -faints

and benyeo's a turd. i wore my jacket with the zip at the back. and only one arm in the sleeves. guess what benyeo did. he buckled my zip from the back and zipped me up! i was really stuck lah!! and thanks simran. thanks for zipping up even more.HAHAHAHA. super funny and retarded.

58 storeys. woah coolness. super duper cooooolness pls. the view was like woaaaaaahhhhhh. felt like bungee jumping! hahah!

boo! lol

alright. i know what i really want now.
1. t
2. s
3. sl
4. wb

thats all.
after 3 is completed. i'll do 4. then 1 and 2 all the waaaay! yay.

i realise my blog is super easy to hack. darn it.

dragon boating yesterday was fun. helped the people from some association. super cool.
but the dragon boating part wasnt the highlight of the day!
it was so much fun talking to signing with her. im not pro yet though. hahaha. and she gave me a sign name! (:

cycling today was hmm.. alright, i guess.. didnt kena lapped until close to 2 rounds. average very slow though. 30.3 km/h. arghh!! it was actually 31.3km/h! headwind! from 33 drop to 28! goodness... tsk tsk.
was happily drafting four guys for one whole round. 34-35 km/h. quite easily. then they didnt turn at the same place as i did, so i had to go alone. ): haha. THEN! was slacking alr coz super tired. suddenly this person cycled up to me and said," hi." i turned and said hi back while staring at him, wondering who he was. "barry lah!" i was like "AHHH!!! what are you doing here?!!" hahahah!! havent seen him in yeaaars. the last time i saw him was hmm.. sec 2. when we went KL for swimming comp!
still rmb we took turns dancing parapara. benyeo's was the funniest! hahaah!! OH! and barry DQed himself by plunging before the horn. coz he wanted to save energy for his 400 free! HAHAHAHA. it was super funnyy!!

kays. 'bring it on' ,the third one i think, has finally finished downloading!! gonna watch it nowww! whoo!! :D

and i was shooting pearls out of the car! heeheehee!! :P

[edit]
YOZ. ahaha! watched it! omg damn niceeee!! wanna watch somemoreee! ahh! still got 'step up', 'stomp the yard'. yeah i know im very lag. haha. heh! but i have 'you've got served' super coolios. you have? nehh!! XP
[/edit]


coz you have to study.

chiong

oh hi. guess what. i've just been pangseh-ed. whoo. and now.. im still in school. 40mins to the start of 5k finals. wth. i want to go lah. freak. you go yourself. fine. nvm. still go with * and friend.
still waiting for drey to finish her chinese oral.
great. just great.

[edit]
ok nvm. you're forgiven. haha.
anw. $5.50 each!!! see lah. make drey and i pay so much. hahaha.
nvm. the race was superr coolios.
congrats to all the winners and i think every one who raced did a great job! (:
went for dinner with xers.
ahhh! i felt soo bad.
so when i realised what i was we were doing, i decided to keep quiet and play hp games while they hmm.. ''talked''. lol.
girl. you ask me WHY. hmm... I DONT KNOW! why dont you tell me why. maybe there isnt even a reason... oh i dunno.. i cant explain.
had a nice talk with tiff during the mrt ride back. it was just TALK. not that "talk" okay. was good.we shared quite alot.

oh and i think the school's gonna ban the bubble tea soon. hhahahaha!! benyeo and i were like shooting pearls at the canteen ceiling! benyeo's pearl ALMOST hit a bird. wth. hahahah!! super funny!! tmr i want to buy again! hee! probably gonna shoot at ppl! hahahah!!
i want pon chinese!!! then can train earlier! then can go for the gospel rally!! dont want to ps maria! ):
ok prison break.
oh and norman's funny! HAHAHAHA!

cheered for someone who wasnt there.

hanging there

knew it was coming.
knew it knew it knew it.
blardy hell.
didnt cry and am not going to.
now what should i do?
there wasnt a second chance.
and it was just like that.
nothing i say will change anything.
crying soo doesnt work.

dont know whether i should be happy or sad.
im sorry guys.
i know you were waiting.
hoping.
sorry lahh...
i'm sorry i cant do anything.
im so sorry.
i'll really really miss you all.
so so much. ):
i dont know how to express it here.
i just feel that i've let you all down.
sorry sorry sorry.
i really didnt want this too.
SORRRRYYYY...

dont know what else to do or say.
i'll just have to accept it.
this year, ive learnt that no matter how much you dont want to believe, how much you say ,"no. it cant be."
you'll still have to accept it.
move on.
and just trust God.
was feeling so... so... lost.
like " how am i going to face this? what am i going to do about it? why is this happening to me? it wasnt supposed to be like this."
i dont know who i can talk to. who will be willing to listen.
who will understand how i feel.
who will really care.
dont know.

in the bus, i just kept asking God," why?"
this verse came out.
" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " Rom 8:28
i just surrendered my life to Him. everything in my life. I just told Him to lead and guide me.
and that i'll do my best in whatever He wants me to do.
i just felt this sense of peace.
but when i was walking back, i started thinking again.
so what now?
what to choose?
it will never be the same again.
the atmosphere. the love. argh. everything!!
i really cant bear to say goodbye.
i hate goodbyes. )):

as i was sitting at home.
i asked God to give me a verse as I read the bible.
This really spoke to me.
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior..." Isaiah 43:1-3
Thank You, Father.
I put my trust in You, Lord.

Take my life.
And all i have to give.
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it.
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours.




will you listen?
will you even care?

twin effect

this is gna be so much fun! wahoo!
hi again ppl. im clar's evil twin. yes. AGAIN.
you know what?!
my dear twin kept complaining just now that she looks like a goldfish.
like duhh! everyone looks like a goldfish when they puff up their cheeks!
-shakes head.
i think my sis is really going crazy. omg. she's starting it again!
she's going off to do some dragonboating stuff soon.
i hope the boat comes alive and eat her.
but i bet it wont be too full.
she's like tiny.
yay and when she leaves, i get the com all to myself!
she's like busy packing her stuff now.
going to play the sims now. wahaha.
OH. and she kept singing ytd night.
c to the l to the a to the r i s s a
goodness. tsk tsk tsk.

dont give up.

ok. this song is dedicated to a special friend. hey hey you you! dont give up mann! you can do it! and i'll be behind you all the waaay! :D take care okays! you'll be in my prayers! always trust Him! :D
meaningful song. hope you like it. (:


Learn To Fly
Shannon Noll


When you feel the dream is over,
Feel the world is on your shoulders,
and you've lost the strength to carry on.
Even though the walls may crumble,
And you find you always stumble through,
Remember never to surrender to the dark.
Cos if you turn another page,
You will see that's not the way, The story has to end.

[CHORUS:]

If you need to find a way back,
Feel you're on the wrong track,
Give it time, Learn to fly,
Tomorrow is a new day,
You will find you're own way,
You'll be stronger with each day that you cry,
Then you'll learn to fly.
In you're head so many questions,
The truth is your possession,
The answer lies within your heart.
You will see the doors are open,
If you only dare to hope and you,
Will find the way to fight the fears that kept you down.
Cos if you turn another page,
You will see that's not the way,
The story has to end.

[CHORUS]

Looking at your situation,
There's so much that you can do,
Now's the time to make your stand.
This is just an observation,
In the end it's up to you,
The future's in your hands.

[CHORUS]


another one just for you! smile kays! (((:

Don't give up
Shannon Noll & Natalie Bassingwaite

In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight,
taught to win
I never thought I could fail
No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I’ve changed my face,
I’ve changed my name
But no-one wants you when you lose

Don’t give up
‘Cause you have friends
Don’t give up
You’re not beaten yet
Don’t give up
I know you can make it good

Though I saw it all around
Never thought that I could be affected
Thought that we’d be last to go
It is so strange the way things turn
Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born,
on the lakeside
As daylight broke,
I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground

Don’t give up
You still have us
Don’t give up
We don’t need much of anything
Don’t give up
‘Cause somewhere there’s a place
Where we belong
Rest your head
You worry too much
It’s going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Don’t give up
Please don’t give up

Got to walk out of here
I can’t take any more
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river’s flowing
That river’s flowing
Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job,
so many men
So many men no-one needs

Don’t give up
You still have us
Don’t give up now
We’re proud of who you are
Don’t give up
You know its never been easy
Don’t give up
‘Cause I believe there’s a place
There’s a place where we belong

pics

chinese oral rawked rawked rawked. almost jumped out of my seat when i heard the question. so wanted to go," WHOO!!"

ok. obviously i didnt. hahaha. this is the very very first time in my whole life the oral examiner tells me, " hao3 le4. ni3 ke2 yi3 ting2 le4." hahah. then i was like," jiu4 zhe4 yang4?" i had more to say!!! darn. hahaha.

the five of us from the same class read a word wrongly. super funny. all read it differently. hahaha! teacher must have been laughing. gahh.

ok so how do you read this word? we read it as 'lin2','xin1','shen1'and 'yin1'.

AH! kk. finally uploaded the pics!

pw group in mrt to gess.

pw group camwhores. outside gess....

MR LIM!!! track coach, amath teacher and GODPA! (:

Ms ong. sec 1 and 2 science teacher. "vernier calisper.""menicus" HAHAHA. luv her mann!

benyeo: eee!! so scary!!! lol!!

simran: ohh!! help help!

aug: hey look! im stuck!

nehh! XP cant find me! too small to be seen.hee!

jump higher luh!

ahh. today's pe was the funnest. heeheehee.
frisbee.
and NOT FUNNY.
nic threw the frisbee sooo high i couldnt catch it. AND the class was like, "EH! its clarissa leh!".
grrr..
THEN again. this time nic threw it too low. i was like,"OIE! im not that short okay!"

a few of us were singing YMCA right in the middle of the field. it was retarded. YAY.

swimming was fun too! supp to do 3x1km. wangjl said i could do 800m for the last set. bleah. but still it was funnn. and i DONT WANT to race under elite cat!!!!!! noooooo...... dontwantdontwantdontwantttt! must wake up at 5am!!! race starts at 6.30am.... arghhhhhh!
i want do age group and ownnn... hahahaha. anw i cant get the prize. stupid rule. oops. :P

what? badawi?

simran heard "what? pardon me." as "what? badawi?" HHAHAHA. all benyeo's fault. whole day badawi nonsense. tsktsk.

ah anyway. one word to describe yesterday - AWESOME.
so fun so fun!
cs improved. parapara deproved. daytona deproved... lol. forget the DDR thingy. bleah.

didnt regret going ytd. too much funnn! hahaha.
cq treated me $6.50 hahaha. Benyeo treated shuks and i to subway! so coolios. haha.

Jamming rawkkked. esp the bass guitar and the drums!
finally got all my pics ytd night.
in school now. so will upload them later!

oh and! i've never gotten so shitty marks in my whole life. omg. hahhaha. -faints

[edit]

back at home. leaving for swimming soon. here are the pics. the GESS pics are still in the cam...

oh. btw! i WASNT camwhoring okaaay. these pics came from benyeo and shuks. see? haha. told ya.

not cool.

so shuks told me not to smile.

i didnt know benyeo took this..

benyeo, you lousy photographer.

see. never camwhore enough. lol.

learnt this from the school of rock. lol!

dont want.

sad.
too little words. sigh. i dont know why too.
i really dont.
what to do? dont know.
what to say? dont know.
sigh.


was playing with the rubik's cube at my grandparents' house.
was so like ARGH. coz i couldnt slove it.
then i remembered that Thad was supposed to teach Tiff, Ben and I the 'secrets' to solving the cube.
He said that he'd teach us again another time coz he needed to leave for church.
gahh. he wont get to now.

supposed to cycle today. i just didnt want to go back there. i couldnt. that place will forever bring back sad memories.

i dont want. siao. i dont even know what i dont want. i just dont want. can?
oh man. oh man. whats wrong with me.



nites ppl.