to B3 (who may have forgotten that its you):
appreciate what you have.
you may not even read this.
but yeah.
you dont know how lucky you are to have so many ppl care about you.



being bored to death.
the loneliness.
killing me.
my smile and laughter.
its all fake.
FAKE.
ugh.
never going back to this crapola.
i promise.
not like anyone cares.


OH DAMN.
WHY.WHY.WHY!
ahhhh.
DARNDARNDARN!!!!!!!!!

too tired to think.
too tired to even realise im gonna face shit again tmr.
YAYYY
hahah. im mad.

gonna bathe now. just had my lunch. from 12 hours ago. seriously.

sighsigh. gonna miss you so much.
):
may not be able to go to church for christmas eve and christmas.
ah wells.
):
sad-ded.
i'd rather retain forever.
then i dont need face this sh*t.
gahhh... ): ): ):

leaving for church camp tmr.
ive got free auto roaming but... i dont think its gonna be very useful! the charges are super ex.. ):

taught bae to rollerblade. he learns super fast lah! ahhaha. pro alr. pro alr. :D
was super sad today coz my roti prata stall was closed. like really really super super sad ok. so bae and i went to newton to eat instead.
and im happy.
i love fresh coconut. HEEHEEHEE. :D :D :D
yay!! hahhaah.
<33

i want my mac breakfast!!!

but its raininggg!
*whines*

UGH.

i dont care. i'll get it tmr morning then. before clarence and i get to church. HA.

oh oh. new use for powergel if you dont have the chance to eat it and its gonna expire: hair gel!

it worked really well on my hair ytd! and it smelled nice too! :D
some guy beside me also had nice hair treatment haha. coz somebody stepped on a powergel pack and it burst all over us. NICE.

thon-ing was really quite fun! and super tiring. we settled the mats which were like so super heavy. and then the stupid guy told us we had to move it forward by 30cm. very easy, no problem at all. just have to move 16 x 2 ten plus kg mats with weird wires underneath. sure. we're most willing to do it, mr big boss. sophia wanted to slaughter him HAHAHA.

woah went into the fullerton hotel. the toilet was really nice. so many mirrors.hee! i like! :D and the basin was the coolest basin i've ever seen! wahahaha. yay suaku!

and omg. we had to carry the what they call.. ears, back and forth. again.. no problem one lah. the ears.. only about 5kg and just need to run about 1km from the start point to the finishing. so fun haaha.

ok im too lazy to type alr.
ohhh so i shall upload the pics!

in the middle of the road!

clarence, yongsheng and yongler.

a sleepy yongsheng. even before the race started.

sleepyheads!

elite competitors warming up.

YAY close shot! :D Henry smth smth.

hello ruiyong!! (:

Dr william Tan (i think! oops.)

sophia nodding off HAHAHA.

random: kid in bubble being rolled around. super funny.

waiting for movie to load.
and i just need to say smth!
oh man. i havent felt this tired/dehydrated for a long long time and im loving it! WHOO!
yessss. my legs feel like they're gonna ache tmr. :D:D:D
nice!

finally decided to pump my bike and cycle over to sai's house instead of walking there yesterday. thought i still could manage cycling with clipshoes.
how smart.
out onto the road and about one minute (or less) later, being the smart person i am :D, unclipped the wrong shoe and leant to the wrong side. YAY me. fell right infront of the lorry i stopped for. the contractors/workers were laughing at me! hahaha. eeyer.
heh heh. it WAS funny. i was laughing too. haaha.
2 mins later, i was at tsai's house.
yipee. (:
first time exercising in manymany months!

shai told me they were clearing the lockers today.
so being lazy to wait for the bus, i was smart again, and cycled to school. was super scared i would fall stupidly smartly again.
the first km and i was dying! argh.
was friggin friggin tired when i reached school. YES. I SAW YOU, MRT. surprise! im not dead yet. SORRY.
smsed my mum to tell her i dont think i can cycle back anymore and she laughed at me! AH! hahaha.
thank God for fatty who came over to give me a lift home.
went to buy tausarpiah on the way home(er.. not really) for my mum. hee. pai ma pi :D lalala.

byebye shai!!! faster get married and bring your wife back to sg! we'll miss you! :D eh will shai have internet there or not ah??

yay gonna thon later with my bro and cuzs. volunteering for the standchart marathon. see my mum fly tmr haahah. she's doing her 2nd 42k race. and is friggin going to do ultra ( 84km!) in may. madmadmad!! own my ass anytime mun.

okies. back to slacking somemore! bye!

im TORN.

Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are turning on
Like a fairy tale come true

Sitting by the fire we made
You're the answer when I prayed
I would find someone
And baby I found you

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart
From being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I'm thankful every day
For the gift

Watching as you softly sleep
What I'd give if I could keep
Just this moment
If only time stood still
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us grey
But baby in my eyes
You'll still be beautiful

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart
From being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I'm thankful every day
For the gift(Instrumental)

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart
From being broken apart
You gave your love away
I can't find the words to say
That I'm thankful every day
For the gift

so this is what i get for being honest and telling you stuff.
awesome.
just awesome.
what am i to do now.
WHAT?!
what do you want.

my fault.
my fault.
blame me.
im so sorry.

finallyyyyy after 5 days of non stop shopping, walking around in circles for hours and not getting anything done, i finally got TWO dresses in less than 2 hours shopping with my mum!
the 2 dresses in total cost half of my 'earth-fairy' dress and one-third of my favourite dress.
i ownzz daniel yam! muahahah!
AND i dont have to live on $2 no more. yesssss.
haircut and red highlights here i come! woohoo!!
donuts donuts! i got donuts! hahhaa. yayy.
im happy.
ahhh... :D


k i think i should call the guy up. ahh so scary. hahaha.
we'll see how it goes.
i dont wanna start so soon!
hols havent even started for me! haha.

oooh.. i may be going to pulau ubin with my cousins to cycle.
yesss. exercise. finally. and hopefully a tan too! yay.
SUNTAN
(HAHHAHAHHAHA. *winks at cq*)

PURGE EVIL. i'll rmb that, cq. WAHAHA. and YES i will.
she is evil. hahaahha.

frig. me is super bored.... and its only been what? 3 days?
just waiting for dec now.
quickquick hahhaha.

sent feifei off today. gonna miss her much.
then went prom shopping with the class.
got lost with rachel trying to find the bbq place.
so went over to nus instead.
and now im home. yay.

hehs. i should go prom shopping with my parents. hehheh.
and then with aunty helen. wahaha.
oh man. im super bad. oops.

OHHH. i should start training!
hmm.. or should i just become an ex-athlete. hahaha.
but i sort of enjoy training. just that it takes up alot of time... ahh..

okok i'll go watch a movie now.
shopping tmr after church! if he is free and not gonna be stuck at his com or out somewhere dunnodoingwhat. wtv. he totally dao-ed me when i said i needed to go prom shopping. i'll bug him tmr again. HA.
if not i'll go with the class again and not get much shopping done coz its difficult shopping as a large group. oh wells.


i miss youuuu.. ):

shopping with bros today!

first time going out with jotham without my parents and my mum lent me her cam! this is so rare. hahaa.

was really nice, i thought. its like.. quality time with my bros! haha.

went coro to print stuff and ikea to walk walk.

oh man! ikea is super cool! havent been there in a superrr long time!

jotham insists i've been into the ballball play area thing with him giving the excuse that i was taking care of him. but i dont recall that incident at all!bleahh.

was fun going out with them. jotham kept trying to make clarence and i hold hands. like EWW?!!

oh oh and at first jotham didnt want me to hold his hand but after awhile he kept holding my hand! so cute! hahaha.

PICS!

jotham was being lazyyy... piggy.

meatballs! (:

today was just awesome! :D

you said you would let me show you my pics 'later' but you went off!
and i was calling you to 'come and seeee' the whole time, and you didnt even hear!
so much for caring!
and how bout this. 'then let him send you back lah' when you're leaving around the same time as me?
i came back home. AND STAYED LONGER THAN YOU!
...........


okok whatever.
i cant waittttt i want my jap foooooddd..
andd 201108.
quickkkkkkkk..

hellooo alevels!

i dont feel anything?! zzzz.
oh yes i do. i feel bored.
i'll go back to math in awhile.
lemme slack for abit can.

now what. soccer betting? er.. nevermind. up to you ok. dunno wassup with you man.

if thats what you wanna think, please, go ahead.
i ain't gonna be nice and try to explain myself no more, you dig?
how much more narrow-minded can you get?



happy belated birthday daddy.
45secs on the phone.
i.. dont know what to think. *shrugs*



oh wells.
wth ya

wahaha. im late for gp review.
oh wells.
might as well come here.


i know im weird! i love going to the dentist!!!!!
its superrr fun i tell you hahaha.
all the coolio equipments that goes poking around in your mouth. :D

awww.. fei is not coming to school today.. pangsehh
hahah. but nvm! i have jt allll to myself MUAHAHA.


ugh! i cant stand how you just stare at the com the wholeeee day!
im sure watching graphs go up and down will earn money!
ARGH.
clarence says you dont even talk to anybody at home.
used to be able to tell you almost everything and now when you come over, all you ask is..."how's studying?"
and my answer will just be.." ok" and we wont say anything else until you leave when we say 'bye'. oh wait. you didnt even say bye!
you think that giving me money will solve everything?? please. do you even have enough? dont tell me to withdraw from my account. you dont know how much i've left after paying for all the crap.
ughhh i cant stand you!


ok wtv. im going to meet jt now.

sometimes 'tomorrow' seems to come too soon
and sometimes.
it doesnt come at all.


sorry.

ggxx. late alr. hahahah.
printer, hurry upppp!
HAHA. im dead.
where is the mock paper held?!
tralala. i win.

yay i can print stuff today!
the printer is finally working. after eating up my $10 photocopy card. grr.
yes. i do have about $20 worth of photocopy money.heh. BUT no way am i gonna print 67 pages of globalisation notes! omg.

crap. mock is in 4mins. i havent printed my stuff. uh oh.
ok yay done. gonna start printing.
cant wait for tmrrrr. (:

cyaaaaaa.

1088 unread messages

4 pages of facebook photo comments. SPAM!

and school com is so fast now! i like!

but i cant print stuff. pfft. too lazy to bring wallet to school. haha. oh wellssss.

okok i should go home now.

brought the wrong stuff today hahaha. dumbdumb.

yay so fun! go home study again! i loveee studying. how enjoyable. :D

it is ringing;

wth yo. wth.
that was reaaal nice.

hello! im at home!
and on my lappie! which was like locked up for dunnohowmany months!
jotham's so tall alr! hahah.
josiah looks the same to me. and so does clarence.
yay! and we still play like crazy as if nothing happened.
i like that (:
just taupok-ed jotham onto the sofa haahaha. so funny.
<3>

oh oh so cool! was just randomly trying to figure out my sec school best fren's number coz i didnt write it down. didnt have to then. and i called through!! it was really nice talking to her again! i guess ac made her less crazy. heh. not like me. :P yay! meeting her on thu to go back gess to collect o'level cert. abit the late. i know. hahaha. hope they're still keeping it. i wanna find mr lim aka godpa! (: miss him! dont think he is still teaching there though..... hmm..

me misses... rachel, cindy, dorcas, emil, coach russell(uncle tan, mr tan, uncle russell) and bae


YAY. going sushi-ing with my parents and clarence. <3

OOHH. i can put up all the funny simran quotes! yay!
im at ben's house. he and yuan zi are like playing laser quest?! zzz. hahha.
yay waiting for foood! (:
and not studying. hahaha.

clara: im sure many ppl __ have a sex life. i was thinking of someone just now.
simran: (obviously not hearing what clara said in the first sentence) me? :D


raj: i read in men's health that one of the 100 reasons why ppl have sex is to get closer to god.
all : WHAT GOD?!
simran : the sex goddd! yeah.


Sharan: Jason mraz makes funny noises when he sings!
simran: i like funny noises!

simran: have you heard this song?
clar: what song?
simran: i wanna sex you up.
*clara and clar hears song*
clara: er.. its not that nice what..
simran: but it sounds fun!

oh oh! the best one!

sharan: does Fe2+ and Fe+ make Fe3+?

now yuanzi's making noise on the violin! ugh! hahaha.

ok i shall TRYYY to do some work. yay! no sch tmr!

AHH omg i just missed tri!
should have just ponned school!
zzz.
i want to watchhhhhhhh.. ):
ugh!


anw! psp is rawkin. hahah. and ben has koped it. AGAIN. bet he's like gonna drain the batt.




random thoughts.

i cant believe 10 years passed so fast. it seems so recen that we were just playing hide and seek, block catching and randomly ringing neighbours doorbells(yes, we got caught), digimon, ddr!, random stayovers... hahaha. oh yeah.. fights..

was just talking bout it to darren and a bit to banjoo. hahha. banjoo. the BFG( thats what i call him hee).he used to come over to my grandparents house and my grandfather would play with him. me? nuh uh. was too freaked out man. used to run away. until my gradfather made me come out and play with him. haha. hmm.. come to think of it.. maybe it was because of my grandfather that im willing to make friends with him. he told me ytd.. that i was his only friend. and that nobody wanted to talk to him in school...
heh. im still scared of him btw.
esp after that funny, scary convo. freaked me out like anything lah. hahaha. darren saw me downstairs and was so worried he passed me his phone to call if anything happened. HAHA.

210808
GRAH. i was just about to start typing stuff. bell just rang.
going for econs now!
to look at mr t! ahahahaha.

clar: i dont want go for econs.
sharan: but why! i want to go for econs. so i can see mr t.
clar: OH YEAH. ok i shall go for econs! hee!

waiting for sharan to come back. we're gonna be so late. lalala. :D

ponning sch is fun! ha! ;)

GRAH.
super alot of research. stupid shai!
chionging like mad. HAHAHA. i know. cant i rest just for awhile? hee.

bedbugs. HAHAHAHAHAH.

simran and augy scandal. super funny! :P

ok im going back to POLITICS now.
YUCKSSSSSSSSS!

school milo is horribleah!
cant believe i drank 2 cups. hahahha.


i still cant understand why there needs to be a fan in the handicap toilet. waste electricity only.


stay strong! *hugs*

WOOHOOO!
fri and sat were super awesomeeeee i tell you!
FOP was super duper fun. and the sight was just amazing. people all around just worshipping Him.
i dont regret going there. hmm.. yeah. even though about 7hours(x2) of studying time was taken up.was really happy to see soso many people there. like.. it was super cool. the whole indoor stadium was filled up man. so rawkin.
andand. tiff,drey and i were there on the same day! but too bad we didnt get to meet up. to camwhore! :P
but i got to see drey coz somebody was "super hungry!!!" and wanted biscuits!

hahha.bleah. i am SUPER hungry now. RAWRR.
but no! i shall not be tempted. food, get away from me!
im a conqueror.
WAHAHA.

yes. and thank you clarence for bringing my starstarstar and all my other stuff. ooohh and cake! haha. wahaha. hope you liked the cake i gave you. on msn. TEEHEE.

bah. i should stop blogging now.gotta complete my AQ. zzz.

die, AQ! you are going to be finished!

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance,
I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing
Lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".
"God, "u" and "i" dance."
God, you, and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

GPC-ing at shai's house nao.

and omg tsai, pls pls dont ever do that again k! like pls pls pls.
i really super duper duper thank God for prompting ronald!!
thank You, God!!!!!!
and we love you, tsai! (:


cant wait for tmr! and tmrtmr! :D
yayyyy!
finally after one year. hahaha. woots!

i understand that i need to understand why.

work sux.
sorry. i do hope you understand.

my feet are killing me haha.
wearing tsai's shoes which are like just abit too small.
hmm.. about 1 and a half size smaller maybe?

alrights. back to GayPornClub (GPC) work.
HAHA.


and you suck.

Oh yes. Thank you feifei for running to j8 despite the heavy rain just to buy my present! Thanks loads!! (:
Wheeeee. Ytd was just super duper fab! Hee. I wonder why! :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :D yummehyummeh (:
Bae came over! Thank you, bae, for the super yummy cake! And the gift! I wonder what the cashier thought when you bought it! HHAHAH. Anw! I still think your baking is super zai hahaha! Rawkinnnn! :D
And lau yi for the durian cake! HAAHA. Durian rawks! :P
Wakaka 3 cakes in a day. Goodness. Cannot get fat! Cannot cannot!

Hello daddy.
You came to mama house to give me bread. And left 3 mins later. You didn’t even stay to cut the cake even though it was already outside. Oh wellsssssss. I dunno what else to say. Haha.


Ok. I wanna go eat SOBA! Like now!
SOBA RAWKSSSS! Hahahaha!
Oh crap. Nic is waiting for his phone in class! Ahhh! No time for soba!!
Sobaaaaaaaaa.

Bye!!

Unicornella, unicornetto, corny, horny.
Im so gonna stick with unicornella ok!
Unicornella’s attached to horsey. Will put up pics here when I get to use the com again. School com is super slowww. Aww mann! Super cute! Ahaha!
Anyway,thank you guys for giving me that wonderful birthday surprise! I totally appreciate all your effort! Almost everything was pink! I ain’t complaining man. They’re awesome! <3
Thank you Clara for the yummy peanutbutter cake! Oh. And kisses (:
Tsai for the kisses also! Hahahaa! :P
Cq and shai for unicornella and the pink pencilcase. I so needed a new one! :D
Cq for the nice thing - whatcha call that? Anw! It was really sweet! Haha.
Shuks and nic for the hairclips, pink earrings and bangle! Really pretty!
Yh for the pretty handmade card with a long msg! hahaha!
And and! Thanks to the rest of 3d (well..who else is in 3d. lol) for singing me the loooong bdae song hahahaha and! Clipping all the coloured clips on my hair! Thanks arh! :P


Alright. Im in a lib FULL(yes. FULL like FULL ok) of muggertoads. It feels super weird. So im chionging hahaha. About the 3d2n. I knows its abit late but wth hahaa. Was great! (:
Seeing the race, I super felt like racing! And Debbie was so super awesome! She totally owned! First sg girl in the elite sprint category. Man! Im so proud of you, debs! You rawkin! :D and and! The china team was hereeee! I don’t think wan da remembers me but zhaolong and xiaohei were like.. “wah! Zhang da le ah! Ni wei shen me mei zhang gao ne!” hahahah. So funny! They keep telling me retarded stuff! Even before zhaolong went to the start line he was like.. “ji de ah. yao kuai dian ah!” and after the race xiaohei also told me. Zzz! So funny hahaha! I miss them! Ahaha.
Where are the pics, jina!



To daddy if you are reading this.
Im doing fine. Just a little bit lonely haha. But don’t worry. I can cope with a bit of loneliness. I just need me DVDs oh man. Did you know I watched linus’ barney and friends dvd?!! Don’t laugh! Its worse than spongebob! Ahhh! I don’t mind spongebob alr! I wont complain if Josiah and jotham keep playing spongebob on the tv! Oh oh! And ive also been doing kongkong’s sudoku! I cant complete it! And like 1hr later, kongkong was like.. “oh I do finish your sudoku for you. You got mistakes.” He is super smart lah! Hahaha. Can you bring me go out to eat some time… im super bored. Haha. Yeah. Tell Clarence to come mama house also. Bring more dvds for me. HAHA. Okok. I’ll see you in hundred twenty plus days. I lost count. Hee. ok! byeeee.



ALRIGHT! GTG! BYEEEEE

3d2n

3d2n was awesome!

damn getting chased out now.
cont later

yesterday was just FAB. (:
plus the weather was awesome even though i was being bullied four five times.
time passed too quickly.

found another nice song!



If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldnt love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

La da da
Da da da da

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need Is you, my valentine
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

do you even know? DO YOU?
the fear?
the hurt?
oh what else?
the (insert negative feelings here)?

what fear?
you're keeping it, remember?
do you even know what 'it' im referring to?
think stairs.
think 200608.
yup.

oh man. i miss clarence.
i wanna tell you everything.
i do not want to be typing and talking to someone in the com!
come back soon you dumbdumb. ):
yongsheng is asking for the 2 cds he lent you, you toot.
where did you keep it!!
grr.

i cant believe im telling the world i miss my bro.
HAHAHAHA.
crap.

not so brilliant eh.
hhahahhaah.
:D i ownz!

anw movie marathon! YAY!
12-now (6.17am) and still watching!
wheee!
oh and another movie at macs!
with fries, bbq sauce and many spoilt dvds. and you.
(:


<33333333

well.. interesting morning.
and i still dont know the final score for ned vs rus today!
less than 10m away from the friggin tv! hahaha.
im like how guai.
thank you thank you. :D


econs. is. sucky.
period.

grahhh.


oh oh. did i mention tiff and i saw a ghost while studying?
hmm..
probably worse than a ghost! *winks at tiff*

THERE ARE NO INVISIBLE

WORDS HERE!!!!













told you!


what did i just say? HUH HUH.
TSK.

break day today was gooood :D just you and i(:
had to climb over the school gate. omg so fun. number 8. wheee! tramp!
moviemoviemovie.

watched AUGUST RUSH! omg. superrr good show!!
go watch go watch. download, buy, borrow, whatever. just watch it!! super awesome woooots! love it love it love it! wahaaha!

grudge 2 was stupid. yuckyuck. YUUCCCKKK. watched it halfway and gave up. not coz it was too scary ok!!!! hahaaha. somebody was just lazy to think. :D

no reservations was niceee! hahahaha. (:

uncountable white slips and phone call to parents.
which i didnt get.
lalala.
so awesome. :D
tralala!

what am i doing?
hahaha.
i dunno!
and it ain't a good feeling man.
nuh uh.

DE,
you suck.
hahhaha.
i so give up on you.
i dont like you.


DE:
i am sad. clar has given up on me.
she totally hates me.
she said so herself. she doesnt care about me anymore.
sighhh...

to the bananas :
love y'all manymany! :D

finally like after so long, B1, B2 and B3 went out again!
hahaha.
wheee!
cafe cartel ftw!
got alot a little bit of studying done!
too bad B1's phone had no batt! ):
anw, it was really really fun studying/going out with you guys ytd!
i really thank God for the bananas! <33



in sch now.
couldnt go into the lib coz i was wearing slippers.
but i managed to borrow dvds! haha!
waiting for stuff to print.
oh. wait. i can go get them now! yay!


by the way, the identities of B1 and B3 have to be protected.
coz.. we ate unhealthy. teehee.
and i still cant believe some ppl read our blogs.
so free?
hahaha.

alright.
gonna get my stuff now.
byeee! (:

im..
upset
angry at myself
frustrated
drained
and feeling so dumb
hoping
waiting for nothing.
waiting without knowing.

hahaha. it was silly.
and i insist ok.


well. that was just now.
i feel so much better now.
though i still think it was real silly.
ahaha. expectations.
zzzz.

anw.
today.
was.
great.
the last part that is.
morning and afternoon was totally horrible.

the rain was awesome.
THAT was soooo wonderful.
so perfect.

and im sleepyyyy.
stayed up at macs ytd until 4.30am to watch soccer hahaha.
slept there until 8am.
was so dead today.
plus all those little stuff mentioned above
the 4hours totally made up for it.
thank you muchmuch! ((:

exciting exciting day today before going to church.
lets see..

my mum went for competition.
dad followed her there.
clarence had cip.
so i had to bring josiah and jotham to church.
jotham couldnt wake up.
even after i set 2 alarms ringing at the same time.
he totally refused to wake up to go to church.
it was so difficult to get him out of bed.
tried the nice tactic.
lets go for macs lunch after church!
or do you want KFC!
ah! how bout swensens?
nuh-uh all didnt work.
now i know why mummy doesnt want to go to church. haha.
changed tactic.
the pissed off tactic.
ok. thats it. out of bed. now now.
and draggggs him to the floor.
after a long struggle.
he just sat there crying.
anw to cut the long story short,
he was brought out of the house wearing only undies.
took his clothes and shoes along.
locked the front door.
oohh cool. he's finally getting changed (outside).
he walks to the stairs and sits down.
im not going. i wait for mummy to come back.
thinking he'd follow, josiah and i walked away.
but nooo..
we had to play hide and seek after that woohoo.
did i mention i lost one side of my earrings
while lifting him up with the coolios fireman lift.
removed my heels and started running towards the bus stop.
we were late for church man.
decided to take cab.
he so owes me 10bucks.
haha.
yes. thats what happened at 9.15-10.25am on a sunday before church.
phew.

have you ever felt this way?
woah. hmm..
its like..

you dont know how to stop it
so you just take it in
you wish it'd would stop
but it doesnt
and it hits you like bangbangboom!
it keeps coming at you
one after another
but you just keep taking it
holding it in
compressing everything inside
trying not to explode
so when you so cannot take it anymore
you get up
run to some random place.
and scream your lungs out.
ahhh and it feels oh so good
you smile to yourself
and walk back
your friends ask if you've heard a loud scream
you look at them as though they're crazy and say.. no?!
they look back at you as though you're the crazy one
but it doesnt matter.
ahhh....
screaming rawks. sometimes.

i'd recommend a place with echo.
lots and lots of echo.
woots.
(:




the bee;
and the awesome accident/

love the short walks/bus rides back.
its during this 15mins that i can reflect on my day. think about random stuff and.. stone.
but its even more awesome to have someone to walk/take the bus home with (:

oh heard this song. haha.

"Not Ready To Make Nice"

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and
I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hellCan't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

yay today was coolios!
heh.
koped lecture table woohoo!
it was heavy. :D
was fake americanidol-ing with drey. so funny.
saw zq in sch(??!!) haha.
he was attending some 'workshop'. heh heh.
the lt was sooo not workshop like. there were.. hmm.. fake country stuff???*shrugs*

the walk to j8 was nice. haha.
yesyes. and! coz audrey was beside me. (:
camwhored like crazy in swensens.
icecream was awesomeeee!

and im not gna waste my time and energy anymore.

on all this crap.

nth but distractions. lol.

ridiculous stuff man! hahaha.

so ridiculous its funny.

lmao.

ZZZZZZZ.
just received the worst-est, most horrible, disgusting, terrifying and whatever-word picture ive ever seen in my entire life. AHHHHHHHH!
OMG!
AHHHHHHHH!
OMG OMG! its stuck in my head!!!
hahahhah. oh crappppppo!
OUT OF MY HEAD STUPID PIC!!
arghhhh *faints*

today was AWESOME. WONDERFUL. GREAT.
even though our cake turned out quite crappy.

me is happyhappy! ((:

randoming. again.
i dont care if it doesnt make sense, chris. stop complaining! hahahhaa.


i thank God for 010508.
(:
and 020508.
and today.
im surprised at how i could recognise you up there so easily.
i miss all the times we had.
wish we could go back to where we were.
but i dont know where to start, how to start and what to say.
like seriously.
and today, when i saw you up there.. i realised i couldnt just forget about us.
oh there's one thing you dont know.
sometimes in class, i'd just look at you sitting across the classroom and wonder how we could have ended up like this.
well anw. chaofan asked me to help you keep your gp newspaper journal.
i'll like pass it to you on mon..
yup.


just now... just now...
why am i feeling what im feeling since i stepped into the house.
since i turned away.
since i walked the last step down the stairs.

whatever. anw. it just wasnt a complete day today. oh wells. goodnite.

she didnt want to take the bus back coz she didnt want people to see her cry and so she walked back. she thought that walking back would help her sort herself out. instead all she got out of the long walk was an injury. well done you! :D
she now realises what a screwed up life she has and that she needs to do something about it NOW.
she wonders where You are. and whether You heard her cry for help.
hello? hello? anybody there? HELP! *flashes SOS light from shai's phone*

screwed up screwed up screwed up.
SCREWED UP!

inside her head she kept reminding herself: "must understand! must understand! dont let it show on your face! it doesnt hurt it doesnt hurt!"
after awhile.. when it hurt too bad and he wasnt there to hear, she shouted, "OWW...OWW..OWW! so painful!!"

HAHAHAHA.
rawkin lah she. luhhh..


anw! retarded day today!

ONE

X : EHH.. i like Y lehhh! share half half lehh!

J : NOO!! Y is mine! you have E!

X : aiyahhh.. you take below the waist lah. i take the top ok? anw you can have more fun with it what. heeheehee!

J : WHAT?! OMG, J!!!

X : HAHA. oh oh! imagine the legs running without the body. AT NIGHT. OMG damn scary!


TWO

lu : the people behind ah! whats wrong with them today ah?!!

clar tries to clip 'pig clip' on her ear..

lu : and who is that on the phone?!!!!!!

clar : AHHHH!!! *raises both hands* MA'AM! IM INNOCENT!!!! IM INNOCENT!!!

lu : AHH! just put your hands on the paper

clar places both hands flat on the table. stares blankly.

clar (softly) : but.. i dont have a phoneee.. ):

lu : see lah you all! i must be getting old and blind! UGH!

ben : eh bluetooth. bluetooth.


THREE

-ben puts back clar's bread under her desk.

-clar takes out bread and bread drops on the floor.

clar : AHHH!! BENEDICT! you didnt put the bread back properly!!!

ben : i gottt! and nvm nvm 5 second rule rmb? aiyah i eat the top you eat the bottom lah.

clar : OIE! NO! not fair! we must eat both sides hor!

ben : fine lah! -tears bread into half and eats.

ben : oh! eh! where you get the 'pig clips' from ah?

clar : found on the floor one.

ben : how come everything you find on the floor one?

clar : where got everything!!

ben : there, the 'pig clips' and your bread also found on the floor one.


FOUR

shai to cq : eh. have she seen it yet?

cq : nope. not yet.

- both laugh.

clar : WHAT WHAT! SEE WHAAT!!

shai and cq : NOTHING NOTHING!

clar : OIEEEE!! WHAT YOU ALL DO!

cq : i never do anything!!!!

clar : i dont believe!

-clar feels her hair... finds 'pig clip' on her ponytail.

clar : OIEEE! BENEDICT YEO!!!

ben : WHAAATT??!!

cq : its not ben!

clar : SHAILESH!!!!!

shai : heeheehee! :P


FIVE

tsai : eh. whats that on your back? hello? why do you have a price tag on your back?

-tears out price tag and shows clar

cq to tsai : AHHH!! why you tell her!! shailesh! she knows alr lah!!

tsai : OOOPS!!! heehee.

cq : haha. then can scan. eh how much do you cost ah? then ti ti ti.

clar : WL!


-walks up to shai.

clar : WHAT IS THIS HUH!

choo interupts : EH! you're looking up like 45 degrees lah!

clar : your angle also not very small lor. 44.1 degrees lor.

choo : noo?? its like 40!

clar : ahhh! WTV! shailesh im gna kill youuuu!!

-chases shai.


SIX

shai : eh do you think ms nair will get angry if i put the clip on her hair?

clar : you try lah then i tell you.

shai : eh help me leh. get more ppl to crowd ard her.

-choo, tsai and clar stand right infront of lu.

tsai(whispers) : what are we suppose to do??

clar(whispers back) : i dunno! shai say stand here!

lu : er.. what do you all want?

choo : er.....

tsai : err....wait ah. SHAILESH!!! what are we supposed to do!!!

lu : i have to rush off for class already.

shai : aiyah.. ok. bye ma'am!

clar : er... so what are we supposed to do??


SEVEN

staring game with shai. 4-0. to shai. XP
mini dance off with shai.


EIGHT

exchanged starburst! :D :D :D

<3


today was rawkin!

HAHAHA. kent leong! you say one ah.

`kent 9 says: anyways u coming tmr or resting?
clar(: EIGHT; says: go tmr lah
clar(: EIGHT; says: hahhaa
`kent 9 says: haha u don wan rest ar?
`kent 9 says: pwn that nus girl
`kent 9 says: i buy u strudel


not bad ah. you still owe me 12 donuts leh.
hmm.. but ok. since i ps you today... 11 lah. set?
then if you nice to me then i give you 1 ok? HAHAHA.
rawkin'. ^.^V

to the tailor's tmr.

sorry.

chem today.
econs ytd.
math tmr.
bio the day after next.
angst angst angst angst angst angst angst.
luhhhhhhhhh........
ok. big deal....

using augy's laptop!
heh.
i dont wanna study anymore! eeeeeeeeeee!

no.
please dont.
im so lost.
i cant see.

its too difficult.
its painful.letting you go.
yes. i know its just awhile.
what needs to be have to be done.

thank you. for doing it even though it isnt easy for you to.

i need time.
will you let me go.

you need time, too.
mmhmm.

ok.
was thinking.
i know alr.
actually.
mine's quite simple.
but whats yours.

you dropped it all on me.
ouch.
its scary.
very.

i.can.tahan.i.can.tahan.

one hour plus!

yellow table.

marshmallow.

strong strong wind.

"nice" chair.

cheaterbug.

the best thing.......

THE SUN. :D

im happy today.
coz i dont have to tuck in my shirt.
:D

the sun's shining so bright.
is mr sun happy too?

can.
we.
settle.
this.
A.
S.
A.
P.
please.
trying hard to tahan.
yes. we are on the same wavelength.
i know you know what i know you know.

its amazing how your 6 words could make me go so much faster.
'your cadence also very slow ah'
thats how much i look up to you,
coach.




to the freaky dude. (:
you still freak me out.
hahaa.
ok ok we freak each other out.
idiot. :P



clar(:
OMG!
clar(:
brainwave!

fun with mr rama
hahaha
fun with mr rama
dun tell me
fun with mr rama
wad you thinking is wad i'm thinking

..

clar(:
is that what you were thinking dude?
fun with mr rama
o.m.g.
clar(:
WHAT
clar(:
HAHAHA
fun with mr rama
exactly the same
fun with mr rama
freaky
fun with mr rama
hahahaha
fun with mr rama
you
clar(:
YOU!
fun with mr rama
hahaha
fun with mr rama
not me lo

random thoughts:

new math teacher cant teach.
i miss lai lai.
im so dead for gp.
man u is da bomb.
must practice side split.
and front pike.
sunday trng at ecp. cycling or tri?
cq's phone is cool.
is pw tennis during mon protected time still on?
do we have chinese CTs??
gonna watch a movie on wed.
made a new friend.
yeo is ultimate retardedness.
vectors stink.
the com rawks.
got back my specs.
fat cells do not decrease in number!!!!

alright. enough of random thoughts. had more in the afternoon. but i forgot.


'sorry.'
'huh. for what? when?'
'just now.'
'what did you do?'
'did you hear what i shouted from downstairs?'
'oh this morning ah. i asked you to take a cab. so you wont be late.'
'i know. but did you hear what i shouted?'
'it doesnt matter to me what you said. i just didnt want you to be late.'
'mm.'

5mins later.
-signals me to take out earphones.
'hmm??'

'i understand. its ok. i dont hold it against you. anw thank you for saying sorry.'

-walks away.
'its for your own good.'

daddy,
i wasnt late for school today.
im sorry
i didnt mean those words i said this morning.
i dont know if you heard it from upstairs
but that doesnt matter.
i said it.
and im sorry daddy.
i love you.


feeling super bad. this is the first time i've ever said it to him.
really really didnt mean it.

had a good sleep.
on the floor.
on top of newspapers.
while doing a side split.

moral of the story: dont read newspapers.

disappointed, yes.
but we understand why you did what you did and we're not angry with you.
thanks for being brave enough to confess to us.
we forgive you.
its your turn to forgive yourself.
we know it takes time and we'll always be there for you.
love you loads, darling.
stay strong. (:

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9

havent been a good testimony.
sorry.

But sometimes
I just can't
I just don't understand
Why you had to go
Why you had to go
I guess I'll never know

Ain't it funny how you think
You're gonna be OK
Till you remember things ain't never
Gonna be the same again

Ain't it crazy how you think
You've got your whole life planned
Just to find out it was never
In your hands

I used to think
I had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn't always go my way yeah
It feels like I'm caught in the middle
That's when I realize

I'm not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between

I'm not a girl
There is no need to protect me
It's time that I (I)
Learnt to face up to this
On my own
I've seen so much more than I know now
So tell me to shut my eyes

I'm not a girl
But if you look at me closely
You can see it in my eyes
This girl will always find
Her way

I'm not a girl (I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe)
Not yet a woman (I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah)
All I need is time (All I need is time that's mine yeah)
A moment that is mine
While I'm in betweenI'm not a girl (not yet a woman)
Not yet a woman (no no)
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While I'm in between
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman

*whines* its always about $.
):
bleah.

byebye lovess..

tutti fruitti was the last.
i hate you loads.
was trying to save it.
i seriously hate you MUCH.
so much so much so much!
zomg.
i.
HATE.
you.
&*^%#