counting down down downnnn.
chionging biomech now. trying to finish it by today so i can go homeee. i dont really want to coz studying is better in hall, but we've gotta meet up for discussion on fri. blah.

am really tired.

sigh.

number theory is the most worrying subject right now ):
but its ok. i dont really care anw.

right. back to biomech.

Steven Curtis Chapman - Cinderella (w/ lyrics)

heard this song randomly and was like.. awwww.. i think thats how daddy will feel soon.. its a little like 'butterfly kisses'. think this song is really nice anw.
(:



i know i shouldnt be blogging either! hahah but just gotta share this.
i know many ppl think i dont blog anymore, so to the ones that do come here once in awhile, just go listen to it ok! (:

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

anw ive asked mummy to change my fb password and keep it away from me till exams are over.
and she friggin posted on her wall abt it and sanjay saw and kinda announced it to the class?? like -.- so embarrassing.. gotta resort to this just coz ive no more discipline.
and 11 ppl liked that comment at the time i saw it from sanjay's acct. haha. zzzzz

ok. back to research paper. yay its looking gooood. haha :D

gonna be needing tremendous willpower, discipline, determination and of coz, His help, guidance and very much, His company during these 3 weeks.

i will not do these till 20apr (starting from 28mar 0700hrs) :
1) facebook
2) youtube
3) blog
4) train
5) slack/go out/etcetc (which includes things which will not be mentioned here)
6) go home on thurs nights
7) tuition (HOORAY!)

i will do these starting from 28mar 0700hrs till 24apr:
1) study
2) study
3) study
4) straight to hall after school
5) tabao dinners up
6) stay in hall till sat 8pm

need His help in giving me the strength to resist the temptation of what im not supposed to do till 20apr. its gonna be a long long long 28 days.

2more days to research paper 1st draft submission (45%done)
3more days to number theory mock exam. (0% done)
5more days to biomech lab report submission (10 % done)
8more days to ict group work submission (100% done)
9more days to physio lab report submission (35% done)
12more days to research paper submission (100% done).

18more days to number theory exam.
22more days to anat/biomech exam.
23more days to physio exam
28more days to FM exam
28more days to FREEDOM.

im trying to figure out how to block fb but its not working haha. guess i just gotta stop myself from fb-ing. its such a waste of precious study time.
yay. im starting to sound like the clarissa t. i know. and im lovin' it.
discipline, baby, discipline.
mugmugmug. so you can playplayplay on the 25apr.

25apr maroon5! GO?? :D
10may lion king! CONFIRMED! (can't waaaiiitttt)
also cant wait to go bangkok with my family at the end of the year! minus clarence plus gummy! QUITE CONFIRMED! yayyayyay.

okies gonna sleep now!
jiayou to whoever's dying under the workload. (:

whheeee so many plans!
in about 30 days!
can't wait! counting downnn.
(:

thank you elbow.
because of you, i cant compete in big race. haha.
not complaining much coz i can study more.
all the best to those racing later! will be up and chionging with you. just that i'll be chionging essay while you guys are chionging chionging ):

glad i did smth today.
zeejs is gonna do biomech for gummy and i. and why? "coz i know you two sure dont know how to do one!"
hahah. such a nice guy huh. -.- but im still not complaining! at least he's gonna do it for us man. but in return, we do ict for him. still fine. forgot all my physics alr..
so we did some als, some biomech and some ict. not bad. in 6 hours. quite proud of us. yay. clapclap!

you're my favouritest :D
and i know you will keep to your word.
hee.

i know its a little late now but today(or ytd in fact),
would have been his birthday.
his 21st.
so many things that might have been.
a party perhaps?
but who am i to think of what would have been right?
i look at our xc photo and sigh whenever my eyes look over to where he stood.
and whisper a simple prayer for his family everytime i do.
think about the good times we had, training, studying, competing.
his laugh, his hair, his sunglasses(which i reallyreally liked!), his smile, his bike, him in his tri suit, in his red cycling jersey...
rmb his last sentence to me.
"wah. never train still can race ah!" at the bike racks during seagames timetrial 07.
to which my reply was.."shut up la. i'll see you at the end hor." which obviously didnt happen.
all the memories flooding back now as im writing this.
rmb wanting to call him after getting back results for CT1 i think, to ask him how he did. already actually picked up the phone to dial then it hit me that he wouldnt be answering the phone again. not ever.
its been almost 4 years now. but i still miss him terribly(im sure many ppl do) everytime i walk past his picture and when the memories come back.
the pair of shoes are in sight now as im typing. the shoelaces left in that pattern since 5 years ago. and will always be left like that for as long as i live. that pair of shoes is so worn out, the sole is peeling, the cloth is greyish but the shoelaces remain untouched.
am smiling thinking of all the funny things that happened during training. flying over the hump after going so fast downslope at lower pierce. crashing head-on into you while sprinting 50m in the pool from opposite ends...
sigh. thank you for the wonderful memories you left behind with me. you'll always be remembered and dearly missed.
happy 21st birthday, dearest thad. hope you're doing great up there.

had a very enjoyable evening today.
thanks to gummy.
bought new shoes.
laughed like there was no tmr.
lived the night like there was no assignments due.
an evening well spent.
lovin' my life baby. hell yeaaaahhh(:

but hmm i do wish to get back the old muggertoad i was last sem haha.

15 more days.
to do ict group assignment.
physio lab report
biomech lab report
als research paper

HAHAHAAHA so dead. so dead its really quite funny coz ive not started on any! and there's number theory test on wed. oooooohhh and i think als draft is due tues! wow.
and theres comp on sat.
which i think i cant go coz of my stupid elbow. how to swim man. and how to play doubles tourney on wed and thu! not funny leh. ):

okok nvm.. i'll just work on one at a time. physio here i come.
y1sem2 is SCROOOED for clarissa t.
lmao. lalala. just cant wait for after exams. in abt.. 35 more days time.

to tummymonkethambibubby.

i feel like a princess when im with you.
happy and worry-free.
like there's not a care in this world.
you make me feel like there is nothing we can't face together.
when the world throws its junk at me, i know i'll be just fine.
coz you'll always be there whenever i need you.
you make me feel brave.
in times of uncertainty, you reassure me with your hugs and loving words.
and i know everything's gonna be alright.
with you, unhappiness never lasts for long.
you always see the need to make sure everything is fine with me.
and do all you can to fix the problem.
i see and appreciate so much the effort you put in.
just to make me feel
like a princess when im with you.
1+1=2.
iloveyou
(:

so many assignments due soon. will take them on one by one. i know we will be able to do it. while having fun hahahah.

sigh it sucks being without a phone! i cant randomly check in to places just for the heck of it. cant play fruit ninja(LOL). cant check the time(am watch-less too). and of coz, cant sms important ppl! ): have to resort to fb msg. dont like.. ):

been eating alot alot lately. gained 2 kg hohoho. and not been trng, when big comp is 13 days away. niceee. just too lazy and have no motivation to race coz its pool swim wth. sian ttm.

so many plans. all sounds so exciting and well-thought out. but how much of it is gonna come to past?
how does one love somebody, whom one doesnt even know, so much? and how can one want to meet that somebody so much, when that somebody doesnt even exist?
i believe its just a phase of life we all go through... but i just want to see her so badly..
just waiting for my turn. for plans to become reality.
for you.
for N.C.

sometimes i feel im too sharp(as b puts it) for my own good.
ok i guess its fine being sharp in observing, but maybe i should learn to act blur and keep my mouth shut. hahah.
even to friends whom i can trust.
guess its time for me to learn not to trust everybody that easily.
its just me to observe smth interesting and tell it to the ppl i trust. but now its different, coz the person i trust is the person whom i observed and noticed smth interesting about heh.
yeah. damn. should have just shut up and acted blur.
aiyah. clar ah clar. please hurry up and learn how to shut up and act blur. and then you'll be just fine. sometimes ppl just cant handle the truth. or they dont actually want ppl to see it and when ppl do, they get upset. shrugs. well. there you go, the ppl i trust are of this sort. disappointing.

anw,
today was a battlestar galactica for me!
too much for my weak heart to handle man.
(HAHAHA RANDOM BUT I CAN HEAR YINGEN AND FA TALKING AND LAUGHING FROM THE ROOM ACROSS MINE HAHHA. its been awhile since i held a conversation from the window!)
ok cont,
as i was saying, many interesting things happened today starting as early as a phonecall at 7.25am. that was the biggest heartattack )):
and then throughout the day. smses which freaked me out. happiness when i thought everything's gonna be alright, sadness and pain when i realised that it was actually quite bad, excitement when i knew how cool they were abt stuff and he didnt had to lie anymore, pissed at the abovementioned issue when i tried to be honest, angsty at how i couldnt do my work, thoughts of retaking the mod. which is up till now actually. so ya thats abt it. its almost the end of 0103. wonder if there will be another exciting twist to be added on to my sufficiently interesting day.
phew.

gotta wake a pig up at 12.

test tmr. havent done any tutorials for the chapters tested. dont understand anything.

WTH. i wrote smth RIGHT HERE. but it got deleted by blogger coz there was html error. like how i cant do a heart shape coz of the "<" sign?
anw.. im too lazy to type out what i wrote again, so i'll summarise.
arms aching badly. from injection and training and comps. contemplating if i should go for TT tmr coz i dont HAVE to. they dont even have enough girls so we'll all be selected for the team. come on. -.- go and kill myself for what. guess im lucky that way. the guys are all working their asses off, secret trngs all just to get the chance to represent sch. well.. its good to be a girl hahaha :D

okays back to work. will stay up till 130am.