aint easy.

pw at ben's house. the very first. HAHA.
omg. auntie carolyn still remembers me. heehee! :P
its been 3 years since i last saw her.
since we went KL together as a swim team.
since ben and i danced para para like crazy.
nice memories. (:


and.. not good.. not good..
ate so so much. hahaha
and! we were slacking so much.
watched stomp the yard. and another friggin funny movie. *ahem* HAHAHA.


yay! pam sent me the pics from osim tri!
and sunday trng!
ben sent me the pics from his phone! HHAHA. YAY!
its taking a friggin long time to upload!!
i'll put them all here once blogger uploads pics faster!!
waited for 45mins alr! pffft... XP
should prolly go get some photosharing thingy.
:D

311107 Wed
OP day!
heh heh.
ITS OVERR! wahaha!
was quite fun actually. hahaha.
ben was crapping like crazy.
simran and i were controlling our laughter so much till we were practically crying.
HAHAHAHA.
and everyone saw us.
crappp.
but it was really really funnyy!!

chionged i and r when i reached home.
thanks shai and cq for helping me. hahaha.

should i?

281107 sun
DADDY'S BIRTHDAY! :D

argh...
super funny trng.
didnt know it was a TRI trng.
so didnt bring swimming stuffs.
thats coz! i wasnt informed. and why?
coz raph SMSed everybody.
great.
was the lifeguard during their swim.
felt good to be standing there again.
where kenneth was slacking and laughing at us. hahaha!
stupid dude. (theGIANTcalculator) (((:
started cycling only after they got out.
but it was still fun anw! :D

today!
Alevel chinese!
hahah! super boring.
was so happy when it was finally over. haha
ask chaofan help me to mark.
YAY! one whole page of ticks! WHEE! (:
lunch was good. :D
pw was screwed up.
i sooo wanna kill ben!
but augy wants to kill him more. HAHAHA.
lets see..
we went looking for his house at braddell view coz he asked us to go there for pw.
ok my mistake.
we walked from school all the way to lakeview at upp thomson.
then took at bus back to mt alvernia hospital.
walked past thomson800, then found the backgate to braddell view.
walked somemore to the entrance.
i totally screamed.
like omg.

clar: AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! thats our school!!!!!!!!!! -points to that friggin familiar green and white block.
augy: oh. thats your old school ah?
clar: NOO!!!!! thats OURRRR school!! AAAAAHHH!!!
augy: WWHHHAATT??!!! oh yeah!!!! i see boarding!!!! AAAAH!!!!! we walked one big round!!!!!
clar: I KNOW RIGHT!!!! AHHHHH!!!!

didnt know the block and unit.
ben didnt pick up his phone.
management couldnt help us.
so randomly picked one block and started OP-ing.
nvm. tmr ben owes us LUNCH. i dont careee! hahahaha!


did what i should. and am not sure what to do.
prioritise! prioritise! aw come on! i know you can do this!
nooo.. i cant.. its too difficult!
but you know what is important to you right now.
i know. but this is important to me too!
i want to help you but you dont even want to help yourself!
I DONT KNOW OKAY! STOP PRESSURISING ME! STOP IT STOP IT!
but it will be easier now than next time
GET LOST. GET OUT. I DONT WANT TO HEAR!ANYMORE. im going to sleep now. i cant think clearly alr.
fine. up to you. dont say i didnt warn you.
ENOUGH.

what is wrong

a BIG thanks cq for being so willing to stay back with me to help me with chinese and OP.

you really helped me alot today! (:

mr hodge's farewell was quite funny. haha.

went with cq and raj.

only 3 ppl from our class went!
so sad right! hahaha!

trng...

30 x 60m.

super funny. was so slow, jiaolian says 'go' whenever i just touched the wall.

cant be bothered to stop alr.

so just continued for like 6 times.

until she asked me to stop. HAHAHA. :P

oh! and i hate getting into the water!

its super cold!!

and raph, debb and johanan will keep splashing water at me!

today got one more extra person. stupid lloyd. pfft. hahaha

YAYYY!! shai sent me another set of random pics!

taken after weewee said we all got promoted to j2!

ok. for some, advanced. hahaha!
was super high!! WHEE! :D

hahaha!:P

cq, maria and her biscuit, simran, clar

yeah baby!

and you can stand under my umbrella.. ella..ella..eh..eh..

TRYING to punch shai.

for mrhodge. those are OUR hairs btw. HA.

V^.^V

Simran in formal! filming! hahah!

HEEE! just being retarded! :P

shai and ben. hahhaha! um...

ben "emo-ing"


HAHA. umbrella again!

hmmm... nice.

check this out! nic wearing heels found in classroom!

raj too! HAHAHA.

when i look into your eyes

ytd!
stayed back with tiff to do chinese.
hahahah! both of us ended up sleeping!
HAHAHA. sleepy pigs. heehee! :P

trng.
70 laps in a 30m pool!
count until can go crazy! hahaha!
the 60m sprints were like so fast. was dying! haha!
OSIM pool is fun! hahah! :D

debbie!! zhang da le worh.
hahaha! (:
love ya, debb!
she's like this little cute sec2 hahha!
my first friend in tri hahaha! still rmb! :D

today!
wanted to jump tramp. but gym was locked. bleahh..
went macr trng.
stupid monkeys and stupid snake. hahaha.
was like," OH CRAP." when i saw the snake on the floor.
was red and black. quite small lah.
but when i shouted. gave the monkeys and the woman running in the opp direction a shock.
HAHAHAHAHA.
crappp. :P
went earlier. (:
saw mum when i finished.
she also ran. but different route.
"raced" home. HAHAHA.

wind in our hairs

didnt do well for promos.
but ecp made up for it. HAHAHA.
enjoyed the 5hrs.
nice walk, nice busride. (:
oh and nice wind.
lalala. :D

its killing me. killing me.

why worry?
what's done is done.
fullstop. end of story.
BUT! why am i worrying?!!
WHY?!
crappp.


anw. went out with parents and clarence for dinner.
then went grandma's house.

today!
didnt go cycling in the morn.
church was good. preacher was really engaging.
like. i didnt even feel sleepy or anything.
haha.
went to shai's house for pw.
going there was nice. hee! :P

pw was really fun. HAHAHA.
conversations were ultra retarded.
stupid ben. HMPH.
check this out.
obviously it was so much more animated. hahaha!

clar: WAH. business class chair very big leh!! like THISS big leh!
ben: YEAHH! then you go there you sit down.. *in squeaky voice*"wahh! see! the chair so big leh! wahh! the armrest so high." -raises arms and pretends arm rests are THAT high..
ben continues: THEN THEN! suddenly one fat guy come and want to sit down.. then you *in that same squeaky voice* "AHHH!! AHH!!! dont! dont! got ppl sitting! got ppl sitting!! AHHH!!!" -pretends to try to escape from that big butt.

WTH.
WTH.

had an emo dinner and an emo walk to the bus stop with shai,aug and ben. tmr. tmr.
OH! quite funny.
before eating, ben aug and i were praying for our food. or so, it seemed.
when i looked up..
ben: i know what you were praying about. i also lah. i pray the same thing as you.
clar: hee. what was i praying about huh?
ben: promos lah. what else.
clar: heehee. fine.. AND the food.
ben: OH YEAH. i forgot bout the food. -starts praying again.
HAHAHAHAHA.

i dont know why but i just shot my mouth off at aug. sorry. ):
stoning in the bus all the way back.
mind's not clear.
wish me luck tmr.

thanks wq for reminding me. PROMOTE, PRAISE HIM. RETAIN,PRAISE HIM. (:
im grateful enough that im here. thank you, Father.

beside you

191007 Fri
mann.. its difficult not to write anything. just weird. ahahhaa.
but ok. i'll try.
OHH! got me new laptop! wahaha!
so cool! AHHH!!
going home was really nicee. (:
like really really. the first.

First fri trng in like a long long long time!
coz there wasnt youth.
okok. that was an excuse. oops. :P
anw! we did 15 x 400m.
was feeling ok for the first 6. was dying for the rest.
like seriously.
jina had to do 25!! zomg.
after we finished,
pat and i did a "relay" to help jina.
so fun! haha!
went with jina for the first 200m, while pat did the last 200m. hahaha!

felt really great after trng.
hahaha. like woah.. the satisfaction, baby!
went for dinner with jina.
then i dont know how not to write alr...
:P
ok wth.
anw. i lost count, yeah? hahhaha. :P
and im noob. haha!
ok wtv haha. dont know what to say alr.
was nice.((:
though my lips got cut abit by your braces :P
OH! reached home at 12+. heehee.
SHOPPING was funnn! :D



so comfortable;
just sleeping on your shoulders/

thanks.

it cut me up. haha
like the resident evil thingy.
so cool!
but no prob.
i may have cried but i'll stand up again.


today.
i realised how important supportive friends are.
friends who care, who encourage, who support and advice.
and i just wanna say how much i appreciate all of you.

in random order.

shuks:
i dont know why. but that smile. when i was so nervous and stumbled on my words.
i happened to look at you and you smiled and nodded and me.
it was so encouraging. and i really thank you for that.
made me feel so much less nervous.
blue is lovedd! (:

cq:
was very very nervous like a few days before this. the whole time, you were encouraging me, trying to keep me confident about today.
thanks for always being there for me.
and.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DUDE!!! you're 17! hahaha!!

shai:
thanks for comforting me when i was disappointed and also for encouraging me.
esp today. no wait. sooo many times.
its like whenever i feel so down, you'll be there to cheer me up.
haha. Thank you.
anw. today was funny.
was crying and shai put his arms ard me. hichew was like, "dont sexually harass her ah."
HAHAHA. coz our presentation topic was on sexual harassment. made me laugh abit. haha. :P

maria:
for helping me with my work. for encouragements and cheering me up! love ya!(:

ben:
for sticking up for me when hichew "scolded" me. helping me to explain to her that i was nervous. (:

clara:
thanks for your hugs. oh and kisses. hahahaha.

:P
for the song. your time..
prayers... encouragement... comfort.



trng today!
still fun! hahaha. (:

been going out looking super untidy these few days.
hair messy? whatever man!
who cares, yo.
hahaha.

pwpwpwpwpwpwpwpwpw.
super fun! haha
i know very few ppl will say that. but it IS!
will post edited video once its done.
YAYY!! :D :D :D :D

was super funny.
let me recall waht shai said.
OHH!! HAHAHAHA!!
shai: thanks be being so hospital.
HAHAHAHA!!
i told you i was gonna quote you! lalala. :P
was having a "post-halfway-done-video party."
dancing to crazy frog. AHAHAHA!
mann! love my pw group!
too bad ben didnt come. hahaha!
it was soo fun today!

visited thadd's parents today.
thomas was showing us card tricks.
dude. you totally rawk. (:
stnading there.. looking at "you", i realised how much was left unsaid.
how much ive been keeping inside.
so much to tell you.
but just like that..
i have to lock it all up within.
i really really miss you.
i sooo want to see you again,
hear you scold me again,
and teach me how to tie the shoelace you did for me 2 years ago.
dude.
miss ya loads. ):

pw ftw!

131007 wed

FILMING!

AHHHHH!! super fun!!!!!!

quite difficult to act angryy!

esp when im not!!
but had to learn to be thickskinned in front of the cam.

so was a good experience. lalala.

lets see where i travelled the whole day.

home.orchard.school.home.school.home.orchard.simran's.home.

had to go home coz needed to pick bros up for filming too.

so had chance to rest abit.

i think aug, shai and simran were quite tired coz they had to film the whole day.

ben left earlier coz he didnt have anymore scenes.

filming was really really fun!
esp having soo many bloopers.

started laughing halfway while "crying". total failure.

ahahahah!!

i cant cry for nuts!

missed the "kissing" scene coz had to bring my bros home.):

from the video could see it was quite fun at shai's house! haha

but nvm! i had fun anw! haha

forgot my lines, stumbled on my words hahaha.

but was gooood.

coz could retake me slapping shai so many times.

i think i slapped him more than 10 times.

4 practice. 3 mistakes. 1 stumbled. 2 ok takes. 1 fake blooper. HAHAHA.

fake blooper was quite stupid. haha.

not being able to reach shai when i wanted to slap him. heehee! :P

taxi fare $18. nice.

141007 Sun

cycling in the morn.

4 rounds.

stupid wind hahahaa.

reached church quite late.

had some time to spare before pw.

so went shopping and lunch alone.

red ruby for lunch! :D

went library to read a book.

thats why i was abit late. hee.

super exciting.

murder mysteries are so fun! :P

waste of time today!

didnt have a vob converter.

ahhh!!

in the end, did nth. just took pics. hahaha.

shai just sent me the pics.

just dump all here. wahah!

from ytd and today.

augy didnt take enough scene shots! lousy. hahaha

anw! when LJS for dinner. YUMM. :P

"im not gonna smile at the stupid cam."

this is retarded.

ben: huh?WHAAT?!

ben: WHATT?! WHATT?!!

taking instructions from director.

its so fake! HAHAHA. :P

orange juice ad. (stupid shai)

..... (stupid ben)

it comes and it goes.

all those lies.
all along.
the hurt inside.
i mean, it wasnt real.
well. not really.
quite. nearly. well, almost.
anw, im quite irritated.
stop it.
but if You say so.
then i'll have to listen, wont i?
ok. like DUH.
so thats it then.
right.
so you ppl out there, happy now? HAPPY NOW?

wait. i actually am! :D
hahahahahahah!!

Ben's right. sometimes its better _______.
thanks for your shoulder back for me to lean and cry on. hahaha.
told you alr. should have done the crying scene just now. HAHAH. :P

alright people! show's over. thank you all for being such a wonderful audience. pls exit from the door on my right and oh pls mind the steps. i hope all of you have enjoyed yourselves thoroughly. pls come back soon!

alright. being retarded.

must be the effects. will be more or less normal again soon. maybe in an hours time. hahhaa. yayyy! :D



this is how it ends huh.
thats nice.

a step backward

to think. to reflect. to understand. to know. to... wait.
it was a shield. to protect.
guess it wasnt a very effective one.
couldnt sleep so now im here.
to say im sorry.

right, that was the emo part.
well, as ive already told cq.
'Resident evil: extinction' is such a freakishly frightening and surprisingly shocking, oh and ridiculously retarded which = retardiculous.
i got a shock like more than 10 times during the whole movie.
oh! my poor heart -faints
enjoyed myself anw.

chinese was uber boring.
ben and i fell ascleep.
lao shi called my name in front of the whole LT.
but he was nice. did that while looking at ben. hee!

was so noob.
couldnt find the stupid osim building.
made a grand total of three 180degrees U turns.
tell me i rawk.
thank you. i know, right?
was quite scared when i had to cut through a temple.
so just ran through haha.
anw. was a 20 min walk. seemed super duper far!!
eeyerr.. i dont like that place...
so far away.. ):
not nice..

and omg. the pool is like. small... 25-30m. 5 lanes.
but it was nice tasting chlorinated water again!
like after soo long!
and i can start bleaching my hair. hahaha.
almost had to do 60 x 50m sprints.
jiaolian was nice. let us do 40 times instead.
the bao4gan1 timings became faster for every 10 times.
was super tiring.
but FUNNNN!! :D
swam with thomas.
and darn. i think he's taller than me alr. pfft.
anw! jiaolian finally gave me my new shoes! and its orange! yay! :D

OH RIGHT. talking bout height.
met wenloong in the mrt station.
...
wl : HEY! you're one head shorter than me! -starts measuring his head.
wl : yup. about this much shorter. haha. bet you cant drive. coz you cannot reach the pedals.
then.. oh yeah! even if you can reach the pedals you wont be able to see where you're going. your head will just hit the horn.
stoopid wenloong. HMPH. XP

supposed

111007 wed
right.
done with my script and slides. yayyy.
woah.. today's lectures were all soo long.
heehee. slept for bio.
stupid evolution.
maria was reading her storybook! hahah!
OH.
trng. at macr.
its been a long time. haha.
did 8k.
path was full of monkeys at the 2+ km mark.
was freaked out. so just turned back.
ran outside instead.
had so much going through my mind, i didnt exactly feel the tiredness.
remembered seantanyiloong=long kou (drain) boy.
jiaolian gave him this name. heehee.
my fault. OOOOPS. :P
he was afraid i would crash into him. (downslope trng)
so he turned and went right smack into the bushes. and the drain.
HAHAHAHA.
jiao lian was like," wo hai yi wei ta shang ce shuo wei shen me yao dai jiao che ah."
(i was wondering why he needed to bring his bike with him when he went to the toilet aka bushes)
was super funny.
miss those funny trng days.

and OH YEAH!
got famous amos cookies! HEEHEEHEE!
in return, i'd have to do a "good deed"
which i wont. like duh.
B3, say thank you. hahah!
anwanw! famous amos cookies are yummmmm! :P

okies. going to bed now.
wheee. slack day tmr! HAHA.

ask Him

081007 Mon

pw in the morn.
stupid gym was locked. AGAIN.
played badminton with simran, shuqi, cq, nic and augy.
quite fun. haha.
started playing 3 v 1 with simran and shuks against nic.
super funny.
went to jump the tramp at the bishan gym!!
did half the routine before i was chased off.
darn.
anw, i think i sprained me toe.
wasnt used to the springs there.
super strong compared to ri gym. lol.
went for lunch. bubble tea was niceeee! haha
arcade.
wheee! so fun!
played the funny drum thingy. and daytona.
yayy! won nic and cq in daytona. wahaha.
went clothes shopping alone. quite fun.
bought 1 shirt.
anw. did pw until about 3 am.
still couldnt finish.
COZ. was just doing something better. (:
something like.. chatting.

091007 Tue

[due to personal reasons, this part has been deleted. and remain deleted.]
pw was quite fun hahaha.
practiced script. very roughly. haha.
ordered pizza.
had to be vegetarian. hahaha.
but was superrr nice. yummmmm.
today was niceeee. ((((:
love ya, babe.

jennnyyy

title is absolutely random. promise. hahahaha.

had lots of fun the past few days. and yes. i did. i was. i am. i think. ok OUT OUT OUT! now.
oh oh! started training. &*&()_&*&%# gah. im SLOWWWWW.

041007 Thu
swimming. flippers. hahahahahahahaha. not funny? wait till you hear this. the rest were swimming. no flippers no handpaddles. HAHAHA. :P see? SLOW. dang.
took bus back with jina. its been a long long time since we went home together. was nice. really (:
quite funny. she was going on and on about ''audition''. hahaha.

051007 Fri
went out with Yongsheng and bro.
played lan. went wrong lan shop. found ps wimpy's son. whatshisname again? oh. jonathan. just very used to calling him 'wimpy's son'. hahaha.
went to the right lan shop.
zomg. marcus was there. just one seat away from me bro. and when i looked around, guess who else i saw? dominic.
super funny. and all of us except marcus, were going for radi8 in like 3 hours.
started playing cs with dom and his group of friends. he's quite quite noob. SHHHH.
owned him in awp and iceworld. got owned in ddust, assault and 'the toilet area'. hahahaha.
anw. wanted to pool. but clarence couldnt go in. so we just played arcade. hahaha. daytona, baby! hahahah
and they removed the DDR thingy!!!!!!! ahhhh!!!!
went for radi8 early coz yongsheng had music pract.
radi8 was quite fun. haha.
but... sigh...sorry..
anw.

YAYYY! like finally. after 17 years.
stayed over at yongsheng's house = yongern and yongler's house. HAHAHA.
like after tua peh persuaded my dad. hahaha.
so funny.
yongler was like YAYYY!!! so loudly.
hahha. anw, had to wear yongler's clothes. bleah.
stayed up till like 4am. hahaha.
super fun.
cousins rule. :D :D :D :D


051007 Fri
pw at simran's house.
super funny bus ride there.
the craz man.
ben couldnt stop laughing.
was scaryyy though.
oh. we thought we were smart.
couldnt use the lift coz had no card.
lazy to call simran.
so stayed in the lift and waited for someone to press. then climb from there.
ended up being trapped in the stairwell.
how'd we know the stupid door only opens from the outside?!
HAHAHHAHA.
the slackiest pw meeting we ever had.
watched youtube(ben, clar and simran). played psp (ben and shai). checked mail and friendster(augy). read joke books.(aug and clar)
*ahem* shai. nice pic. :P
learnt how to fix the first side of the rubrik's cube! yay! thanks ben!
watched man u play! stupid goalpost.
chindia is loved! (:

ps. ben is such a nice song. by mj. so sweet.


071007 Sun
first cycling training in 2 months. or longer. i dunno.
did only 3 rounds.
with pat. was nice. enjoyed it. (:
quite funny.
a guy overtakes us.
pat looks at me. i look at her. both smile. start chasing.
guy slows down. we overtake. we slow down.
this repeated a few times. until..
that guy:" hahaha. its funny you know. how come you guys chase me down at 30 and then cruise at 26?! haha."
heeheehee!
so we went infront and did half the round at 30. was dying.
cycled beside pat so we both had some motivation. haha.
was really nice having someone to cycle with.
like after a long long time having to cycle alone. (:
church.
took the chinese sermon notes on purpose.
tried to read it. hahaha.
gave up. referred to mum's english sermon notes. hahaha.
met maria at wisma fishtank at 2.30pm.
went shopping!
bought the nice shirt drey and i tried on.
couldnt find the nice skirt!! ahhh!!!
couldnt find nice razorbacks and shorts! pfffftttt. so sad lor..):
shared nice icecream. haha.
i love maria! :D hahaha!




to see you again.

random/retarded

ok found this in sihan's blog. yes. stupid augy. HAHAHAHA.
" 8. Clara bought 4 star clips and gave it to Me, Clarissa and Shuqi. So now, we're called THE STAR CLUB. That girl is damn possessive, when I dont wear the clip she'll scold me for the whole day!!! -.-'' Speaking of clips, Nat they all also have heart clips so we call them THE HEART CLUB. And today when Shuqi went over to THE HEART CLUB to talk t them, Mr Augustine was like "Hey i dint know you have exchange programmes". AHAHA. "

and YESSS! clara checks to see if im wearing the clip too!! hahahah! so i permanantly left it there. wahaha.

got "caught" while jumping tramp with aug in the morn! ooooopsie. :P i want to practice my "routine"!! i know how to do grade D routine alreadyy!!! still practicing grade C. grade E's fine. haha. grade D routine (not me)
ive got augy's locker key! MUAHAHAHA. heeee! he lent me one of his keys. haha so fun! just dumped my whole bag inside. haha! oh and 2 tennis rackets, 4 badminton rackets and 4 tennis balls. WHEEE! :P
played tennis. coz baking sleepover at Sihan's was cancelled last minute. could tell she was really upset. but! we're gonna have it during dec hols! haha. cant wait! so funnn!
borrowed 2 storybooks. YAYY! finallyy!

ok. bored. bye.

sometimes.

yes i really do.
really really do.
wish you'd just disappear.
that would be WHOOOO!
bear with you long enough. +
its too much.
birthday presents do not. i repeat. DO NOT disappear beneath piles and piles of accumulated, rotting rubbish from the houses of this block.
they DO NOT.
my handphone er. phonebook DOES NOT get hidden somewhere in the house.
my files and notes DO NOT get thrown all over the floor.
and i SHOULDNT be staying up until 2 just to pack them all back again.
my clothes DO NOT get thrown into a huge plactic bag...sigh.

well anw!

011007 mon

finally got some exercise when i WALKED to school somewhere near macritchie with tiff! from my house! hahaha.
so fun! stupid 'horny' taxi driver. -sticks out tongue. hmph.
played badminton with class at bishan sports complex.
not long though. went gym with drey. treadmill. hahaha. superrrr boring.
at different corners! ee not fun. haha. but we were both watching the same thing going on outside -2 chameleons chasing each other. hhaha.
jumped the tramp for like 10secs. coz not allowed to.
quickly did my "routine" hahhaha.
went out with drey and tiff.
gave tiff her belated birthday present.
neoprints! :D
our last neoprint was taken together too! last year! 281206! (((:
watched ratatouille! NICE NICE! hahaha.
had fun yesterday.
the last time the 3 of us went out together was when? was it the ben and jerry's thing?
hahaha. love you 2 loads! :D

021007 tue
pool at paradiz.
with simran, cq, shai and nic.
so fun! first shot was super lucky. HAHAHA.
after that shot, became their "lucky charm".
um. not so lucky though. haha.
anw. heard some guys shouting stuff from the other table.
ok whatever.
watched nanny diaries. haha
nice!! quite funny.
and so stupid can!
i thought cq was sitting beside me for like 5mins, until i heard shai's voice beside me!
AHHAAHA.
simran and i couldnt stop luaghing. at the umbrella.
i was like whispering," mary poppins! mary poppins! THERE I TOLD YOU!! mary poppins!!!"
simran was like,"under my umbrella ella ella."
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
and shai was like messing up my hair. hmph. stupid shai. pppffffftttt. hahaha.
anw!
FINALLLYYYY!
went for swimming. in that eeky, algae-filled pool. bleah.
easy swim.
was thinking bout___ the whole time. shucks.
btw. ____ is a THING. a THING. as in. IT.
dont want to put it here. for some reason. dont ask.


i think ive lost it.
no. i cant!!
its so expensive!
i keep trying to look for it.
i just cant find it.
something replaced it.
but i dont ever want to lose this.
i cant. i cant.

i dont know where.
i am.
used to be there. and there.
now,
its not even there, or there.
just wanna hide away.
and cry.
sorry for. flaring up everytime you mention anything related to it.
everything.

so real. so real.

its over. and im lost. whee.
ok sort of.
not LOST. just.. i dont know? lost?
empty.
blank.
ah whatever.
i dont know what im saying.
oh wait. actually.. i do.
but wth.
right?

i dont know i dont know i really dont know.
that dream.
ahhhhhh.
seemed so real. felt so real
woke up and realised it would never happen.
sometimes i wish that it was real.
then again, something tells me its better off just being a dream.
ahhh i dont know!
frigggg.
oh wells. God, You decide.

Talking bout letting God decide.
haha. Commited promos to Him.
whatever the result, i know He has His plans.
so! as i was smsing wq, i decided...
if i pass, i praise Him. if i fail, i praise Him.
which sorta = promote, praise Him. retain, praise Him.
haha.

shopping with drey yesterday. stayed her house the day before.
OH FRIG.
eeeeee. unluckyunlucky. eeeeeeeeee.
she was right man.
the more we tried to _____, the more we _____, and in the end _______ ftf. like WTH?!
dont tell me it was meant to be, yo.
PLUS! the places we went were super random!! GAHH!!
ok wtv wtv! haha
tried on some clothes.
she tried white and i tried black.
was super nice! took a pic!
went for late night movie with dad and bro.
the great escape. from RRAAWWWRRRR.
but still, found stuffs. MY stuffs. outside the door. gfjdgfjgfggfyugyrgtjebgigjxdbqihxdh.
if only i could run away and never come back yeah? haha.

too bad, clarissa. you have no money = no food, no clothes, no almost everything lah.
so therefore, my friend, you have to bear with it.
sorry. cant help you.



bet you dont know;
i really miss you