170507 Thu
feeling dumbb... i just couldnt get it.
you make it seem SOOO easy. you were explaining like it was ''just like that'' and there i was trying so hard to absorb what you were saying.
and i THINK i got it. THINK.
i dont know what you were thinking then. probably," its so simple! why cant she just get it?!"
sorry. i know you were really trying to explain to me. i was really trying to understand. really.
sometimes, i just feel like giving up altogether. right now, the only thing that keeps me going is the thought of them saying," i told you so, LOSER."
i just want to cry. cry till there's no more tears left to cry. cry till my eyes become red and swollen. cry till ive no more energy left to cry one second longer.
no. i wont cry. i cant. cant let them see how im dying in here. cant cant cant.
i almost cried just now. felt so stupid. why cant i understand it?! bet you thought i yawned or something. haha. or maybe you didnt even notice.
seriously, if anymore information tries to squeeze into my already crammed brain, I'LL JUST DIE. promise.
i laugh. i smile. i skip around. but inside... no one knows what im really feeling. im trying really hard to hide it all inside. i may explode one day. just dont know how soon that day will arrive.... lets all wait and see....
there's no secrets today;
dont look. :P
i told you dont look already right! haha.
okok. ilu. (:
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