argh. stop daydreaming! wake up! oh man. today sucked. the seven hours passed super duper slowly. there were not many people so alot of time to daydream. nuh-uh. not good. not good.
i need stuffs to occupy my mind. i cant be alone. otherwise.. gone. start becoming blank again.
not in the mood for movies. dont even feel like going out. dont feel like staying at home. arghhh... just want to cry cry and cry. i really dont know what to do already. also dont want to talk to anyone. just wanna be alone. but i dont want to be alone! ARGHHH!!
i cant take it anymore! God, I really really need you. please.
sigh. actually he promised to tell me once it was confirmed. and i was supposed to help him so it'd be confirmed asap. told him if he came online again, i'd give him my special course. foc. title to be kept confidential. hur. and he hasnt even started lesson 1 yet! ): also promised him i'd always support whatever decisions he made and that i'd be behind him all the way, no matter what happens. i dedicated this song to him on my blog. "i'll stand by you" by carrie underwood.
here, my friend. this is for you again. you didnt get to hear it last time. but now im sure you'd be able to. so, here it is.
i miss you so so much. now i cant see you anymore. earlier this week i could just go to your house. it didnt matter if it made me cry till i had no more tears left. i still got to see you. now, i can only look at your pics.
never again will i see you smile.
never again will i hear your voice.
never again will i touch your hair.
never again will i see you online.
never again will i receive your smses.
never again.
never. again.
Saturday, June 30
Friday, June 29
lost. gone forever.
i'd like to say sorry for making people cry. oops. it wasnt intentional. promise. :P
anw this taught me so much.
im not going to waste my life anymore. time to invite people to church!
wont put things off till "next time". it may not come.
Will treasure my friends and family much more. life's unpredictable.
yes. its still sinking in. i just keep on forgetting... im so pissed at myself.
i was going to ask him if he was going for the meeting in TAS. then i realised. again.
argh.. i keep on thinking he's still here. and that nothing's ever happened.
the meeting was waaaaaay useless. please. i do NOT need a counsellor. im serious. im not the one who needs it. i'll be alright. soon, i guess. -shrugs. just leave me to continue grieving please. for now. They just say the same thing over and over and over and over again. here we are crying. and there they'll ask," what are your names?" like WTH?! i totally ignored the counsellors. hee.
and some people, i find, are really.. ugh. you're right. and i know it. just not at this time please. please spare a thought for those around you. think about how they'll feel. like what mdm foo use to tell us," do the right thing at the right time, in front of the right people." i'll tell you, "say the right thing at the right time infront of the right people." sorry CQ, i tried. i did call. the reply pissed me off. so i just hung up. oops.
3.5 hours queueing for doughnuts with maria was so nice. like real quality time mann. we just talked and talked and shared and laughed. it was really so nice. to know that i have such a great friend. we said we'd come back and queue again next time. im quite worried. coz i wont know right? sigh. anw, i thank God for giving me such a good friend. i really appreciate all that you've done.
i think i should start spending more time to get to know my friends better. learnt that time is the best thing anyone can give. dont wanna regret anything. (sorry. actually i dont think im making sense now.) sleepy.
ah anw. today's pw meeting was the funnest. like 9 ppl went to GESS?! after survey, we went to tiong bahru park to play playground! like little kids! i took so many pics. cant upload them now. will upload like... soon. OH NO. cannot. okok ASAP.
gtg sleep now. somebody's pangseh-ing me tmr. and i'll be pangseh-ing somebody on sunday. im sorry!
nites.
hear the song.
anw this taught me so much.
im not going to waste my life anymore. time to invite people to church!
wont put things off till "next time". it may not come.
Will treasure my friends and family much more. life's unpredictable.
yes. its still sinking in. i just keep on forgetting... im so pissed at myself.
i was going to ask him if he was going for the meeting in TAS. then i realised. again.
argh.. i keep on thinking he's still here. and that nothing's ever happened.
the meeting was waaaaaay useless. please. i do NOT need a counsellor. im serious. im not the one who needs it. i'll be alright. soon, i guess. -shrugs. just leave me to continue grieving please. for now. They just say the same thing over and over and over and over again. here we are crying. and there they'll ask," what are your names?" like WTH?! i totally ignored the counsellors. hee.
and some people, i find, are really.. ugh. you're right. and i know it. just not at this time please. please spare a thought for those around you. think about how they'll feel. like what mdm foo use to tell us," do the right thing at the right time, in front of the right people." i'll tell you, "say the right thing at the right time infront of the right people." sorry CQ, i tried. i did call. the reply pissed me off. so i just hung up. oops.
3.5 hours queueing for doughnuts with maria was so nice. like real quality time mann. we just talked and talked and shared and laughed. it was really so nice. to know that i have such a great friend. we said we'd come back and queue again next time. im quite worried. coz i wont know right? sigh. anw, i thank God for giving me such a good friend. i really appreciate all that you've done.
i think i should start spending more time to get to know my friends better. learnt that time is the best thing anyone can give. dont wanna regret anything. (sorry. actually i dont think im making sense now.) sleepy.
ah anw. today's pw meeting was the funnest. like 9 ppl went to GESS?! after survey, we went to tiong bahru park to play playground! like little kids! i took so many pics. cant upload them now. will upload like... soon. OH NO. cannot. okok ASAP.
gtg sleep now. somebody's pangseh-ing me tmr. and i'll be pangseh-ing somebody on sunday. im sorry!
nites.
hear the song.
Sunday, June 24
all the times
240607
In loving memory of Thaddeus Cheong -A training mate, a friend, a brother.
thanks for all the memories.
both happy and sad.
i'll miss you like crazy, dude.
it hasnt really sunk in yet.
wanted to ask you something just now, but realised i couldnt.
im glad i told you.
ok. fine. you knew.
so.. im glad you told me it was on purpose!
i'll always remember that friday.
that special special friday.
6.5hours (:
the 'ooohhs' from the kids AND jina.
and i'll NEVER untie those shoelaces you tied for me.
The MSN games we played non-stop. minesweeper flags and 7 hand poker.
24-0.
it didnt matter.
and it was during prelims.
we were supposed to go wakeboarding again.
you were supposed to tutor pam this fri.
and you were going to own them all during osim!
you said so yourself!
come back. PLEASE.
own them all!
OH GOD! why. why must You take him away?
You didnt even give us a chance to speak to him.
You didnt even let him wake up once.
WHY?!
He's gone. forever.
and i've only got 2 pics taken with him.
Thomas dear. I salute you.
You were strong, boy.
I know you tried to hold it all back.
Don't worry. Jiaolian cried like crazy too.
Im sorry you cant tease me about being your sis-in-law anymore.
How could you leave your wife.
Your Orbea orca is at home waiting for you.
She's your 'awesomely georgous one'
so 'slim and fast'.
Your 'livestrong' band.
i've never seen you without it.
its always there. on your right wrist.
i stole it from you but
it just slipped out from my wrist. bleah.
sigh. i'll never forget you.
You'll always have that special place in my heart
just that.. we cant share our probs like we used to.
i miss those times many many.
your last sentence to me.
WAH. never train still can come and race ah?!
....
In loving memory of Thaddeus Cheong -A training mate, a friend, a brother.
thanks for all the memories.
both happy and sad.
i'll miss you like crazy, dude.
it hasnt really sunk in yet.
wanted to ask you something just now, but realised i couldnt.
im glad i told you.
ok. fine. you knew.
so.. im glad you told me it was on purpose!
i'll always remember that friday.
that special special friday.
6.5hours (:
the 'ooohhs' from the kids AND jina.
and i'll NEVER untie those shoelaces you tied for me.
The MSN games we played non-stop. minesweeper flags and 7 hand poker.
24-0.
it didnt matter.
and it was during prelims.
we were supposed to go wakeboarding again.
you were supposed to tutor pam this fri.
and you were going to own them all during osim!
you said so yourself!
come back. PLEASE.
own them all!
OH GOD! why. why must You take him away?
You didnt even give us a chance to speak to him.
You didnt even let him wake up once.
WHY?!
He's gone. forever.
and i've only got 2 pics taken with him.
Thomas dear. I salute you.
You were strong, boy.
I know you tried to hold it all back.
Don't worry. Jiaolian cried like crazy too.
Im sorry you cant tease me about being your sis-in-law anymore.
How could you leave your wife.
Your Orbea orca is at home waiting for you.
She's your 'awesomely georgous one'
so 'slim and fast'.
Your 'livestrong' band.
i've never seen you without it.
its always there. on your right wrist.
i stole it from you but
it just slipped out from my wrist. bleah.
sigh. i'll never forget you.
You'll always have that special place in my heart
just that.. we cant share our probs like we used to.
i miss those times many many.
your last sentence to me.
WAH. never train still can come and race ah?!
....
i cant imagine him just lying there.
the three words i can't say without starting to cry."thaddeus passed away."
the pain inside. it hurts so bad.
i guess we can only take comfort in knowing that he died doing what he loved.
bye my friend. i love you.
*listened to this song so many times in his mp3. yuan lai by jjlin
Friday, June 22
shootzzz
maria has a smart smart phone. must have been eavesdropping on our conversations.
sneakehhh huh.
i am NUMBER 236. maria, i like your phone.
and i want a phone toooo! -pouts.
AHHH!! she is back. SHE is back. -shudders.
now jina's acting so damn fierce. im scared.
but when she's not around, jina's nice. hahaha.
omg. i felt as if i were swimming in the sea ytd!
PLUS. not funny lor. they were swimming beside each other.
kept on fighting and kicking so hard!! siao lah.
and then in the other lane, lilin was swimming in the opp direction.
i tell you, i was dyinggg! like dieeee-ing. omg.
20 x 50m. shucks. 48-ing, 49-ing!! 50s bao1 gan1(swim and rest time included).
quite funny. i didnt bother to stop, just carried on without waiting for jiaolian to say go. hahaha!
it'd be the same anywaes!! :P
I WANT TO GO FOR THE ITU TRIATHLON TRAINING CAMP!! it'd be super fun, can learn lots of stuff they dont teach here AND! can bug mansheng! oooohh.. HAHA!
btw, im freakin out. COZ! we're not swimming in the sea! we're swimming in THE POOL!! i know i said it already, but who cares! we're running 10km along changi coastal road!!! -screams
230607
some volunteer briefing. siao. so boring.
psst. felt really safe with you sitting beside me. (:
sneakehhh huh.
i am NUMBER 236. maria, i like your phone.
and i want a phone toooo! -pouts.
AHHH!! she is back. SHE is back. -shudders.
now jina's acting so damn fierce. im scared.
but when she's not around, jina's nice. hahaha.
omg. i felt as if i were swimming in the sea ytd!
PLUS. not funny lor. they were swimming beside each other.
kept on fighting and kicking so hard!! siao lah.
and then in the other lane, lilin was swimming in the opp direction.
i tell you, i was dyinggg! like dieeee-ing. omg.
20 x 50m. shucks. 48-ing, 49-ing!! 50s bao1 gan1(swim and rest time included).
quite funny. i didnt bother to stop, just carried on without waiting for jiaolian to say go. hahaha!
it'd be the same anywaes!! :P
I WANT TO GO FOR THE ITU TRIATHLON TRAINING CAMP!! it'd be super fun, can learn lots of stuff they dont teach here AND! can bug mansheng! oooohh.. HAHA!
btw, im freakin out. COZ! we're not swimming in the sea! we're swimming in THE POOL!! i know i said it already, but who cares! we're running 10km along changi coastal road!!! -screams
230607
some volunteer briefing. siao. so boring.
psst. felt really safe with you sitting beside me. (:
Thursday, June 21
scared
scared for sunday.
scared i wont be able to complete.
scared of being the last.
they will laughhh!!! -cries. im serious.
God! i dont want to do this! i cant!! -continues crying
was so scared i almost cried when guojl showed us the route. 10km on changi coastal road. its blardy demoralizing. thought bout how i'll never make it this year. cried in toilet. but yes, i'll support those who make it this year.
oh. and er.. just FYI..
ISLY n IMUL
ARGH! nvm nvm! whatever luhhs.
scared i wont be able to complete.
scared of being the last.
they will laughhh!!! -cries. im serious.
God! i dont want to do this! i cant!! -continues crying
was so scared i almost cried when guojl showed us the route. 10km on changi coastal road. its blardy demoralizing. thought bout how i'll never make it this year. cried in toilet. but yes, i'll support those who make it this year.
oh. and er.. just FYI..
ISLY n IMUL
ARGH! nvm nvm! whatever luhhs.
Wednesday, June 20
boommm
okayesh. ive decided......
TO SCREW UP THIS ALREADY SCREWED UP BLOG EVEN MORE.
omg. i cant believe im doing this to my blog! argh! help!
okies. BLAST THE VOL PEOPLE! :DD
TO SCREW UP THIS ALREADY SCREWED UP BLOG EVEN MORE.
omg. i cant believe im doing this to my blog! argh! help!
okies. BLAST THE VOL PEOPLE! :DD
lameness
im sorry ppl. this blog is officially screwed up.
goodbye.
ok kidding.
rawr. trng today. was 42-ing with 2 43s in between. thats super suckaye. gah. wangjl could tell i was super tired-ed. yesss! slack swim 1k. was correcting my strokes. must look beautiful in the water also mahh..JUST KIDDING. :P
carboloading starts todaeee. argh. i dowannn! THREE MORE DAYS! nooooo....
after tt still got volunteer stuff. i'll just die. serious. you'd have to carry me. hahahaha!
random thought: i dont like saying bye. coz i'll always feel that i havent told you something.
another random thought: i miss gym. (as in gymnastics. not JIM or the gym.)
somemore random thoughts:
-if i dont make it for tt, i'll join recre gym. and sign up for wakeboarding lessons.
-i shall not cut my hair like super short, and i wont come to school in specs. that would be like UBER weird. period.
-i think i'll watch OPEN SEASON today or hmm.. mr bean's hol? and THEN, elvin ng. yess.
-i havent bathed since i came back from swimming. like 12.30pm. 5hours. cooliooos.
-and i dont think my hair's becoming any browner. they didnt add enough chlorine and chemicals. so the pool's filthy. and so! my hair isnt turning brown. shucks.
-OK BYE.
ps. OK BYE is not a random thought.
OK OK!! BYEE!
clar's evil twin: reading this was such a waste of time. you should seriously stop blogging, you fcktard. you wasted my precious time, my dear twin. [6.20pm]
goodbye.
ok kidding.
rawr. trng today. was 42-ing with 2 43s in between. thats super suckaye. gah. wangjl could tell i was super tired-ed. yesss! slack swim 1k. was correcting my strokes. must look beautiful in the water also mahh..JUST KIDDING. :P
carboloading starts todaeee. argh. i dowannn! THREE MORE DAYS! nooooo....
after tt still got volunteer stuff. i'll just die. serious. you'd have to carry me. hahahaha!
random thought: i dont like saying bye. coz i'll always feel that i havent told you something.
another random thought: i miss gym. (as in gymnastics. not JIM or the gym.)
somemore random thoughts:
-if i dont make it for tt, i'll join recre gym. and sign up for wakeboarding lessons.
-i shall not cut my hair like super short, and i wont come to school in specs. that would be like UBER weird. period.
-i think i'll watch OPEN SEASON today or hmm.. mr bean's hol? and THEN, elvin ng. yess.
-i havent bathed since i came back from swimming. like 12.30pm. 5hours. cooliooos.
-and i dont think my hair's becoming any browner. they didnt add enough chlorine and chemicals. so the pool's filthy. and so! my hair isnt turning brown. shucks.
-OK BYE.
ps. OK BYE is not a random thought.
OK OK!! BYEE!
clar's evil twin: reading this was such a waste of time. you should seriously stop blogging, you fcktard. you wasted my precious time, my dear twin. [6.20pm]
Tuesday, June 19
bored-ed
third post today. i am super bored at home.gahhh..
been feasting on a big container of raisins. COZ IM BORED!!! ive eaten like half a container so far. congratulate me. CONGRATS!
hypothesis: when you eat too many raisins, you'll shit grapes.
result: results will be revealed soon.
as you can see, im overboardbored-ed. omg. what is wrong with me today?!
and ive spent like 7 hours on the com. so coolios eh.
been feasting on a big container of raisins. COZ IM BORED!!! ive eaten like half a container so far. congratulate me. CONGRATS!
hypothesis: when you eat too many raisins, you'll shit grapes.
result: results will be revealed soon.
as you can see, im over
and ive spent like 7 hours on the com. so coolios eh.
highh byeee
TURN VOL OFF. not like i didnt warn ya.
ok. i absolutely hate this song MUCH.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! but its damn funny!!! its like a joke lah! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
im sorry! im just HIGHHH! HAHAHAHA!!
must be the fever. gah.
HAHAHAHHAAH!!
i wanna be a nun. can stay in NUNASTRY. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! oh shucks. siao liao lah.
eeew. i still dont know whats so nice bout this song.
simran keeps singing this song to me! argh. yucks.
OH YESS! TIFF! TIFF!! TIFF!!! TONIGHTTT! ELVIN NG! HAHAA! awww.. dont so sad luh.. i know you wishing you were one of the THREE(!!!). HAHAHA! awww... hahah!! :P
Girlfriend
Avril Lavigne
[Chorus]Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend
[Verse 1]
You’re so fine
I want you mine
You’re so delicious
I think about ya all the time
You’re so addictive
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious
And Hell YeahI’m the motherf**king princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right
[Bridge:]
She’s like so whatever
And you could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!
[Chorus:]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend
[Verse 2]
I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away
I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again(And again and again and again!)[Bridge]
[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend
In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There’s no other
So when's it gonna sink in?
She’s so stupid
What the hell were you thinking?!
[repeat]
[Chorus]
ok. i absolutely hate this song MUCH.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! but its damn funny!!! its like a joke lah! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
im sorry! im just HIGHHH! HAHAHAHA!!
must be the fever. gah.
HAHAHAHHAAH!!
i wanna be a nun. can stay in NUNASTRY. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! oh shucks. siao liao lah.
eeew. i still dont know whats so nice bout this song.
simran keeps singing this song to me! argh. yucks.
OH YESS! TIFF! TIFF!! TIFF!!! TONIGHTTT! ELVIN NG! HAHAA! awww.. dont so sad luh.. i know you wishing you were one of the THREE(!!!). HAHAHA! awww... hahah!! :P
Girlfriend
Avril Lavigne
[Chorus]Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend
[Verse 1]
You’re so fine
I want you mine
You’re so delicious
I think about ya all the time
You’re so addictive
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious
And Hell YeahI’m the motherf**king princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right
[Bridge:]
She’s like so whatever
And you could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!
[Chorus:]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend
[Verse 2]
I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away
I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again(And again and again and again!)[Bridge]
[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend
In a second you’ll be wrapped around my finger
Cause I can, cause I can do it better
There’s no other
So when's it gonna sink in?
She’s so stupid
What the hell were you thinking?!
[repeat]
[Chorus]
..
hate it. the feeling of not being able to do anything to help. it sucks.
darn. was searching and searching but couldnt find something suitable.
argh. what can i do?! (not the song, CQ)
darn. was searching and searching but couldnt find something suitable.
argh. what can i do?! (not the song, CQ)
Monday, June 18
yayy
yay yay and yay again! ahh! i dont know where to start!
wtv.
1. I got my pics! ( MANY MANY MANYYY)
2. Broke my own record for thelatest earliest i've ever slept. 5 AM. WHOO!
3. CARIDEE WONNN!!!! omg im so happy!! cya melrose! :DDDDD
4. im sick. coz i broke my record.
5. didnt train today
6. i just watched THE WILD. super funnnyyy!
7. WHITE CHICKS finished downloading!
8. im blogging! :D
YAYY!
kelvin sent me dunno how many thousand million pics. my com is super lag now coz there's like 2GB of pics?!!! when my bro comes home, im like so dead. yay. this must have been the longest convo i ever had. Oh. that would be number 9! THREE hours. woah. jay kelvin and i were sending and sending pics like crazy. click click click click until 4.30am ok. can die ah... anw! this is my fave pic among all. btw, the rest were random shots. bleah.
-hey yo. check out the jacket im wearing mann:D
top(from left): paul, JAY!(sry. i mean, jay), frankie, gid
bottom: clar, benson, kelvin, shane
HONEYYY! LOOK LOOK! happy now? hahahah! -winks
and! im still sooo happyy! melrose didnt win! sry. um. i meant CARIDEE WONNN! wahahaha! like yayyy! and! the wild's funny. gonna watch white chicks later. yesss!
wtv.
1. I got my pics! ( MANY MANY MANYYY)
2. Broke my own record for the
3. CARIDEE WONNN!!!! omg im so happy!! cya melrose! :DDDDD
4. im sick. coz i broke my record.
5. didnt train today
6. i just watched THE WILD. super funnnyyy!
7. WHITE CHICKS finished downloading!
8. im blogging! :D
YAYY!
kelvin sent me dunno how many thousand million pics. my com is super lag now coz there's like 2GB of pics?!!! when my bro comes home, im like so dead. yay. this must have been the longest convo i ever had. Oh. that would be number 9! THREE hours. woah. jay kelvin and i were sending and sending pics like crazy. click click click click until 4.30am ok. can die ah... anw! this is my fave pic among all. btw, the rest were random shots. bleah.
-hey yo. check out the jacket im wearing mann:Dtop(from left): paul, JAY!(sry. i mean, jay), frankie, gid
bottom: clar, benson, kelvin, shane
HONEYYY! LOOK LOOK! happy now? hahahah! -winks
and! im still sooo happyy! melrose didnt win! sry. um. i meant CARIDEE WONNN! wahahaha! like yayyy! and! the wild's funny. gonna watch white chicks later. yesss!
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