Past

1. We all have our pasts. We may even have secrets that can never be told. And i think it is very understandable that everyone has at least one or two of those. Then it brings me to wonder ,"why dont you hide anything from him? Why do people have so many deep dark secrets but you are such an open book?" is there something wrong with me or what? I just dont understand why people keep so many secrets but i just have none. I mean, ok those that are none of other's business, they wont know. But to the person i want to spend the rest of my life with, i really dont want to hide anything from him at all. I have nothing to hide and i tell him even when he doesnt ask.
Being like this have gotten me into a big mess but i still strongly believe in not hiding any thing from someone you really love. So yeah, thats me. An open book. Im just not sure if Im appreciated for being so darn honest.

2. As ive mentioned before, a certain amount of communication is needed in any relationship. Even between normal friends. The lack of communication can bring much misunderstanding and upset another. Which is what i do not want. I clarify things to prevent or at least lower the possibilty of having communication breakdown leading to unhappiness. Clarifying something is quite different from questioning. Questioning seems more towards the side of interrogating, which im not doing. Right? Let me know if you feel so. It may be my tone or just the way i put my point across. 

3. I probably need to learn to let go of your past. Taking over your phone was FUCKING traumatising. So much so im so miserable now i cant sleep. In addition to the fact that my rooamates are not as conservative as us singaporeans. Plus, im sleeping on the floor with a sleeping bag. Im so so miserable right now and i just wish you were here so bad. ):

4. Im hoping nobody comes here but you coz i just scolded a vulgar word. But i dont care. Sigh. Where is the clarissa i know?

5. Really really tired from today's run with you. So proud of us haha completed 15km plus 30storeys climb with a reasonably good timing with barely any proper trng. And! Its also our first running competition together. It was really fun and i enjoyed myself tremendously even tho point 2 about race kit and not telling me anth about what was inside so i did not have to wear an uncomfy jersey pissed me off for a while.. Anw. My legs are so screwed tmr.

6. Instead of threatening, i suggest you come up with a better tactic "to make things simpler". All my best friends know that threats do not work on me as youve found out today.

7. Im tired and hungry, sad and miserable.

8. Goodnight world.

9. I love you, skje.