change

it feels different and i think we both know it.
is this change for the better or..?
are we starting to take each other for granted? we used to be so happy out with each other and it was obvious on our faces. now it feels like.. just another day, another few hours out with each other.. and the weird and MOST IMPORTANT thing is.. i am not speaking for myself.
i appreciate you coming down after tuition to take me out for icecream today, i enjoyed talking to you over a bowl of icecream and cake. but i dont know if it is just "bf duty" or an obligation to you.

if it feels forced, i rather you not do anything. who would like the feeling of going out with someone who just goes out with you coz they are obliged and not actually interested? of course if that person is desperate for some company or are just thick-skinned then yeah. i think they wouldnt mind.

then they'd tell me not to compare. what's wrong with comparing now with the past? its not like i compared our rs with other people's. i still make the effort to make sure i remember to thank you after we go out coz i just want you to know i dont take you for granted.. i know that i get more upset, but isnt that because of expectations as time goes by? it would be weird if expectations got lower as we get to know each other better - our likes, dislikes etc, right?
and i still wish you sounded as excited to talk to me as you were last time.. why dont we have crazy convos anymore? is it coz im just too tired and lazy to try and be witty with you nowadays? and you are too lazy to add smileys and sweet talk?

i dont know, you never answer my questions when we meet. it seems like school, students and tuitions are the main bulk of our convo now. i dont even want to try talking about us anymore. it seems that you always think im questioning you so ive pretty much given up trying, hoping and waiting.