feeling very unsettled. ):
like there's so much to do and think about but i dont know where to start.
tuition is killing. i only have that much time. and im alr squeezing every last bit of time i have left.
oh i just wish i could drive alr!! ugh. instead im rushing all over the place because of driving. sighhhhh.
but im glad. a girl in my class shared during ve that she hated herself. but after teaching and encouraging them. i asked the class what they have learnt. to that she went,"to love myself." and hugged herself. awww.
and another girl in the class hugged me after class! "thank you ms tan, byebye!" super sweeeet. couldnt hug her back coz was carrying books. haha.
sorta miss the p6s. hope they're doing well in sec sch man...
i thank God for letting me have camellia as my co-teacher. and though being a ft would have been cool.. i mean.. gaining more exp and stuff, but i guess its fine... im more free and dont have to settle so much admin stuff.
i think elsa saw it in my face. or maybe sensed it from my tone. but that was real cool. i thought she didnt but the whole time she was actually thinking why i wasnt ft. and she guesses that maybe coz im teaching some pe programme... coz only a few teachers involved are ft. hmm. i dunno. im just scared that i suck..
anw. gotta get back to social studies.
my running and swimming is GONE CASE alr la HAHA. never ran a slower 2.4 ever since sec1. wth. im so embarrassed. HAHAH.

ahhhhhhhh! yuckkkss school tmr!
must wake up early again!
): no more elsa! now i have to bring my own pass everywhere and my own umbrella. haaha and print my own schedule/notices etc! omg i havent done that!!!
ugh so irritating. i think i shall just go to sleep. and sch starts even earlier now!!!! ahhhh!
me is sadddd..holiday was over so fast.. ):
goodnight.
now i will be busy like da. but not as busy as da. hee.

goodluck tiff!<3

better hurry up got work to do...
ok fast fast.
need to save up alot more.
starting nowwww.
no movies. ok maybe... once every 2 months.
no random eating out at ex places. gotta save up for ex place on special days...
shoes. stick with old one. anw im gonna be wearing track shoes everyday..
clothes. ohhhh i do need clothes and more formal onessss.... but...arghh since im not gonna be wearing too nicely to school, pe clothes are still good. screw going out clothes. who really looks at you anw! please nobody cares. dont bother dressing up. just wasting makeup. -.-

gotta do work now. ughh schoool. ):

smth similar happened last year.


and we start back at one.
+=

you call yourself a grown-up?
i lmao. what a joke.
is it so difficult to reply to an email?
do you think it was easy for me to click on your name and send the email?
in the end i did it, putting aside whatever differences and doing it for the sake of the event.
i think i know what it is.
maybe pride is holding you back.
well goodluck trying to be all 'grown up' and stuff. ahahaha.

ok bad start for a blog post. but i dont care. this is for YOU. you know who you are. they know who you are too.

well. there are different kinds of ppl in the world. let's all move on. and pretend we never knew each other.

ok going out for dinner with da now! yay. shall not let some ppl ruin my dinner!

and im glad its almost done!

jealousy.
immaturity.
ridiculousness.

BEING STUCK IN BETWEEN.
IS DAMN AWESOME.
DAMN EFFING AWESOME.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

you dont need me. just live your own life.

fairness is not a warning.
but heed it anw.

my cam went all the way to paris and came back without the extra batt and case.
oh but it did come back with scratches and blur pics.
omg. damn pissed with this hwuncnwqha cam.
can cry man. uggghhhhh.
now i really cant sell this retarded cam.
consolation... jotham bought me the most stuff HAHA. earrings, bag and keychain. lala.

went for bte. passed. but the real test is like one month away -.-

auntie ivy lent me some korean drama just coz 'the girl looks like you!!!'
funny. i look like 2 actress now. wth. haha.

upload blur pics.
read book.
finish amath.
study planegeo.
read prac book.
watch flowers for my life.
plan stuff for christmas party at shai's

oh. notebook is super boring. like super. so i forwarded to the last part and oh so sweet. too bad its boring.

jotham is finally awake!!!
i shall go disturb him now! yay!

i.need.to.get.it.over.and.done.with.VERY.QUICKLY.
or as quickly as im allowed to!!!!

ok fine. want.
yes. i want to drive.
so far... i know how to start the car! WHOO. adjust seat. YAY. step brake, step clutch, push down handbrake, slowly release clutch, release brake, MOVE. accelerate!! OHHH reverse!! so exciting!!!! wahahaha. thank you da(:

new kiddos. auntie ivy's.
p4 and sec 1. yay sec 1. so fun.
even more squeezy tmings. lalala.

cool. didnt blog for slightly less than a month.
nothing much really.
just stoning in sch. having retarded meetings and having breakfast lunch and tea provided. which is goood. been spamming sudokus with elsa.. being entertained by faizal's lame jokes.. and sleeping. which is also good.

gonna be visiting lot1 very frequently. and i need to thank tiff and da for helping me through all the crap and teaching me stuff even before i start. (: i think i'd be so lost without their help and probably wont even get started. coz my parents are not interested to help me out with the crap tiff and da helped me with. yet they want me to hurry up get my license so i can drive them ard. -.-

will have to squeeze tuitions man. sucks. esp when sch ends at 1.30pm next year! wont be able to get there by 2.40. ok im not sure but just dont wanna be late. so only have 1 non-peak slot left. gonna be so slow!! currently its 2 lessons per week. uggghhhhh... that will take me like min 3 months?

trng isnt going too well. hope it gets better. oooohhh tiff and clar's trng log. need to do. haha. so fun. after trng review is damn funny. omg so slowwwww... like walking like that. bleah. ): jiayou us!!! hahaha.
and church camp 8-11. means no trng.

so! plans for tmr.
1) swim. tiff wanna? slow one slow one.
2) pay bills. find machine!
3) return lib book. ( finish today!)
4) get internet banking?
5) book feb lessons
6) OMG PACK BAG. ooohhh crap havent done that!
7) need iSomething charger! the plug!

no more mrbean promo): icychoco is yummehh.

ok should start reading book! just about...769 minus 185 pages more? count.
bye.

too much excitement in 2 days man.
my poor heart not able to take it!
pe lesson. punishment. 7 MCs. prinipal farewell. p6 gradnite.
so many emotions. one after another. first was pissed. then confused. worried. unsure about pe situation, unsure about whether i should actually feel anything that she's leaving but i only talked to her on the phone once and on the first day of sch when she asked if i have anything to say to the sch. THATS ALL. im just randomly putting thoughts here so dont mind me. ahhh so many emotions. was kinda touched yet told myself not to be coz it 'doesnt concern you' that was for p6 gradnite. coz i rmbed sms.

student: YAY wh leaving tmr! so happy.
me: why are you so happy? wont you miss her???
student: NOPE!

after few days..
student: miss tan... i miss wh.. )): i didnt know i'd feel like this..

and i dont know how many other teachers know abt it. the kids complained to their form teacher(BRATS) and i bet their form teacher told c and gb and her clique. but i know what i was doing and why i did it. so i know i am able to explain myself IF anything actually happens.

i'll talk to c tmr.
wonder if what i did was right. i thought it was but maybe they wouldnt think so.
the whole time after that incident i feel i havent exactly been myself. watching my back, trying to see 'who knows' etc.

thank goodness tmr's last day of sch. not for teachers tho..):

finally after like 8 years of waiting, i got my very own camera ytd. BUT! its too late!! if you have noticed, my camwhoring days quite over i guess.
during my camwhore phase, it was resorting to lousy cam phones to entertain ourselves during lects and tutorials. and we'd be fighting(kinda) over a proper cam if somebody brought it to school.
now its like i cant even be bothered to take pics when im out with friends.
but when i see other groups of friends taking so many pics together,i think they're really lucky to be with that group of friends so willing to take pics. and why? well simply coz many ppl ard me refuse to take pics and think its troublesome. so i didnt want to irritate them and now we only have 1 or 2 pics for memory. lalala.
camwhore killers. -.-
wtv.

so why did i buy a cam for. I DUNNO? fulfil my wish of 8years?
what a joke man.
its not too pro a cam so not say very ex. quite disappointed with the limitations. tho i kinda like the beauty shot hahaha. but yeah can take can alr right? not as if im gonna be using it often.

SO! want buy? Red Samsung ST50. 8GB mem card and extra batt. warranty included. (not like that idiot cheaterbug.) tag my board.

tiff gonna laugh at me man. haha.


well cam aside.
i had SIX periods of pe lessons today.
so not funny esp when i lost my voice. whooo(high pitched la).
it was a ploy!! a ploy that was supp to work! when there's no form teacher meeting thing and when there's no talent identification prog makeup test!!
holyyyymama. totally bakfired. instead of having no pe i had 6. HA HA HA.
and had classes and relief. so ended up stepping into staffroom for the second time at 12(1st to put bag down and head to assembly) and off again at 1230. so 30min break the whole day in sch. awesome right. haha.

at least there's no tuition tmr. resstttttt. yay! (high pitched again)

made my very first ketupat ( i dunno how to spell it) today.
so bored in staffroom, decided to learn from elsa.
slight fever but played netball with pe class.

sakura on 2710, nihon on 0211. suki group earning alot from me. eating too much man. then tmr meeting jina. gonna eat again. oh my.

whooo passed PPT!!!!!!!!!

cant wait for beach thursday. praying it wont rain. and will be hot sun. haha.

thats abt it. nth much going on here as you can see.