why must it be like that?

what a world we live in. WHAT A WORLD WE LIVE IN. gossips here and gossips there. "do you know what he/she did?", "can you believe him/her?!", "hey, dont you think he/she_______?" its getting rather tiring, especially being the one hearing all the gossips and badmouthing from ten(or less) different people in the squad, each having different opinions about things and stuff. i am like getting so confused trying to decide who is right and who is not, who's got a point there and who doesnt. like pat said, it feels like you are a historian, trying to analyze the situation, seperating the facts from the fiction. its wasnt too difficult to do so in history tests, but this is different. it is real and it concerns me and probably my future as well.

what the outcome of the meeting will be like, i totally have no idea. actually, i feel i do not even have any idea about wth is going on! one says the meeting is about school commitment, another says its about training programme. so what do i do? do i listen to both? i dont know. this is draining me, FYI.

and about person A, person A doesnt know about this blog right? who cares. this is one example of a big letdown. sorry pat, i know you feel much worse than i do about this. we, being new to this sport, trust everything that a person with much more experience says and teaches us. (wait a minute. i've just lost my train of thoughts. gotta go catch it back. BY WASHING DISHES!)kays, lets continue. as i was saying, we have total trust in these people. we follow their instructions very closely, having not a single doubt. "if this is what person A does, i should just follow person A." well, thats what we thought. (actually i had my suspicions about what person A was doing weeks before the 'big letdown' today.)
-scoffs. so what if its SIX rounds? even if we cant keep up with the pack after four rounds or maybe less, at least we know that we have tried our best and that we have trained hard. why keep on reminding us to go within YOUR speed limit? are you a traffic police? why were we so gullible? blinded by your nice-NESS your and funny-NESS?
do you know you've hurt pat so much more than you have hurt me? she IDOLISES you! what a letdown. WHAT A LETDOWN! sigh.

oh wells, this is life. isnt life just great? woots. whatever. i shall just be a neutron, a neutral entity, with positive and negative charges circling around me. argh. this is a nightmare. i hope i wake up soon.