the incentive of going back home on a thu was so strong that i was forced to vomit out 500 words within 3 hours. 500 words of bullshit, that is. whoo. and the best thing! didnt even bother proofreading my stupid essay. i hate als101 ttm. there's still the friggin research paper. totally gonna die for that. but till then, i'll continue with wtv im doing now, taking things one step at a time. (which also means screwing school and just playing)
and a reward for bullshitting 1199words was dessert dessert and more yummy desserts adding 1kg to me! hhaha nice. but it was really quite awesome.

guitar-ing with daddy was like omg funfunfun. havent done that since i started picking up guitar from him in sec4. did some recordings. which was quite funny coz there were some screw ups. but oh wtv as long as its funnn! :D

i really really really hate to be reminded of that coz it really sucks to know im just a number 2. no matter what you say or how much u tell me it aint true or how much u try to make me forget, the fact still remains that im just another one. not the first. i do try to ignore and push it aside everytime the reminder alarm goes off. seriously. and i do just fine actually. until like today, something was said. and then i couldnt look at you again and had to turn away for awhile coz it hurt so bad. im sorry. i really tried to be fine. or tried to act like i was. and im sorry for not knowing how to articulate my feelings well enough. but even if i did, there isnt anything that you could or do. its a decision i have to make and stick with.

daddy says love never lasts. what is left when love is gone is the commitment.
i have a feeling he is right.
and that sucks leh. how love doesnt actually last.
so mama and kongkong are living tgt just to take care of each other. huh.. ): no likey..

supposed to be doing work now but as usual, me is too lazy to. hehs.
funny isnt it, that when you're the most busy, you just wanna find time to do redundant stuff such as blogging. yours truly is a good example of one such person(:
dont even know what im doing here.

but im happy today and i wanna say it. hahaha.
thank God for the rain. hmm. rather ironic if i think about it. haha. its a thank you and im sorry. hmm. i dunno! but im happy anyhowsssss.

oh oh. my tennis shoes are finally wearing out! it lasted me a year and its still good actually.
so, the next time i go queensway this is what im gonna buy/do.
1. buy tennis shoes
2. buy ugly court shoes. ugh. gonna be needing it alot.
3. buy squash racket
4. buy badminton racket
5. buy tennis racket
6. go across to ikea for the heck of it and maybe eat some meatballs.

tennis match tmr. high chance we'll win the unfinished game tmr and so move on to quarter finals which is also tmr. meaning no time to do essay. whee. and fri is submission date.
not worrying actually coz i think i'll just crap. doesnt matter luh. als sucks to the core. -.-

i like the good mix of atypical and typical. HEHS. ;)

its vday like finally!!! everyone is like oh so hyped up and happily going out for vday dinner all.
but well, i'm right here, stuck in hall, all alone, facing my lappie, trying to come up with words to fill up my als101 essay due in 4 days. so far, I've written... my name, my matric number, tutorial group. yay me. *london tipton style!*
so, the closest thing to a vday celebration for me was lunch at my hall canteen with mm. thank goodness i'm not really concerned about vday. i guess its good enough i got to spend time with the people i love.
so yeah. thats how my vday went. hope other ppl are having wayyy better vday than I am. Happy Vday! <3 okies back to work. ):

and thanks for the song you sang to me ;

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you

If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams i couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine

La da da
Da da da da

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Coz all i need
Is you, my valentine

You're all i need
My love, my valentine


if you do rmb my blog add and come here, just wanna tell you.. there are certain things i would rather not let you know coz i feel its redundant and i do not want to force you into doing smth you do not want. you say you wanna change, but maybe i actually prefer how you were and change yes, but not to this extreme. ): oh wells. it now looks as though you're totally uninterested in stuff and its hurting me. im a girl afterall, rmb?

WHOO finally back from my hiatus!
but i dont believe that anybody will come here anymore since it hasnt been updated for months. which is actually good heh. :D

right now, i believe, if i talk about my little "adventures" during the hols up till now, it would be from a biased pov. hmm.. guess i shouldnt talk abt them then. but just so you know, it was AWESOME. thrilling, exciting, heart-stopping,eye-opening, exhausting, worrying, magical. hahahha spam adjectives. but its all true. (:
guess ive been having too much fun during the hols such that even though its already a week into the semester, im still in the holiday mood. I kinda blame it on the 3 hour breaks! we stone, tennis(:D), drive out for lunch and do anything but study. feels so holiday-ish. which is friggin fun. but of coz, as usual, two sides to a coin, fun during breaks vs ending late. 530/630.

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
Small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

Cause the last time you saw me
Still burns in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself pleading
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized I loved you in the fall
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin your sweet smiles so good to me so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably my mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door I understand

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

half-apt.

sometimes i look back and wish it could last for a long long time. preferably forever. sigh.

yet again, i look forward to june. hope it materializes. :D

*looks at my blog and laughs.*
its so dead. hahahahah.
but its alright.
coz im really too super busy to blog/whine wtv.

anw. i do think about it everyday and what i'm gonna say.
mm.. i need more time. it took you three years, i think i will need some time too. i have never forgot it. im sorry i am really really busy with projects and all. please wait awhile more k.

should i.. listen to e-lect or go to bed. waking up at 730 tmr.. hmm.. 6 hours.. and then presentation which i totally heck care about. i hope nobody from my group sees this. haahaa.

i will clear my work one by one! bring it on man. RAWR

Just a little while longer I wanna pray
Can't get You off my mind so I came to say
Thank You Lord just for loving me
Many times as I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out
You're holding me, Your love is so amazing
Oh it changed me

Chorus:
Here I am with all I am
Raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart
I wanna say thank you

I could have died in my sin but You saved me
Didn't have any hope at all
You gave me peace divine, strength to carry on
I should have been the one to pay
But instead You took my place
My Jesus, words cannot explain
Even though I don't deserve Your love for me
You look beyond my fault and You showed mercy

CHORUS

I wanna say thank you for the sun
I wanna say thank you for the rain
Everything You do is beautiful
I'm so grateful for Your love

I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.

trng soon!
and im not sure how to get there. gahh.

NEED TO GET EGGEN AT 7PM! but there is training at 7PM! AHH!! )):

apparently! my phone is atas wor. shrugs! i reaaallly didnt even know oops.
now i look richer than i already do. HA. ):

i will miss jenelle and her cm [ ] (cm squared) hahaha.

i've got alot on my mind right now and i mean really alot! i dont know what to start thinking first. i feel i need dumbledore's pensieve to take out some thoughts for a little while and get back to them after i've settled the easier ones.

i dont even know how i feel right now.

why now? why two at the same time? for years you two made me feel like i dont mean a thing to you. and now both on the same day showed me that i actually meant something to you. its just... overwhelming.

1; thanks for that. i appreciate it. but i just dont know how to reply. well.. not just yet. i am not capable of such.. such.. well-phrased emails.. but i will get down to it when i've thought through what i wanted to say. i dont want to say the wrong things but for now, i know that the right thing to say would be.. sorry too for being an idiot 3 years ago. please give me some time.

2; never thought u would even think of me. thought you would be too busy with uni and everything else in your life. i wanted to reply you but see.. i've always been a listening ear to you(and still will be) but you never really made use of me much. you were my listening ear for awhile but it wasnt 'fair' if you didnt see me as a listening ear which is why i stopped. and true enough, you never bothered to let me be your listening ear. and im not so sure if you actually wanted to hear me.

work is omgnessly alot. i know there's alot more to come.
sigh.
thankful for bie who has been my constant support, who never fails to remind me of my one goal when i wanna give up. and its only been a week. yes. i went home crying. my grandma says im like a baby. im like.. weakkkkk ): no more motivation. thats what happens when i stop training proper. sigh. no direction no goal. immediate ones that is...

God is good.
God is fair.
yupps He sure is (:



When I'm with you Baby
All my worries disappear
Troubles that surround me
Disappear when you are near
When you need my loving
I'll be there
You know
When you need my loving
You know
Where to go

When I'm full of sadness
Nice to know you're always there
In this world of madness
Nice to know somebody cares
When I need your loving
You'll be there
I know
When I need your loving
I'll know where to go

When I'm with you Baby
I know you make me feel so good
When I'm with you Baby
You give me what nobody could
When you need my loving
I'll be there
You know
You know
When you need my loving
You know where to go


time flies when its time spent with you.

so many things i wanna do!
watch house! finish reading my books! finish packing. shop for sandals. print stuff.
but at the moment, top of my to-do list would be to SLEEP.
super giddy. hahahah.
no not drunk. dont even know how drunk feels!

okok sleeeeep.
on a side note, my new phone rawks!