i know i know.. so not disciplined right? wasting time blogging instead of studying. lol. just dont feel like studying now... too much stuff going on. some old memories came flooding back recently. while cleaning the fan, i suddenly remembered PeiBoon.
Although i didnt really know her in primary school, we could get along quite well as classmates. i can still remember her laughter. I also remembered we used to call her baboon. unfortunately, we can no longer hear her laughter or tease her anymore. Those days are over. It came as a big shock to me. Like a few months after we graduated from primary school, my best friend, dorcas, called me and told me PeiBoon had passed away. I really really thought she was joking lah!Found out she had too little red blood cells...I soo wanted to cry, but i just couldnt. i was just too shocked to even know how to react. I just kept on saying," you're lying right? cant be! she looked so ok just a few months ago!"but i know i cried when i prayed for her and her family at night. its dammnn sad!! PeiBoon, I miss you! ):
then after dorcas broke this news to me, she told me emil's father passed away. I was like," NOO! NOO!" in my head. my heart cried like there was no tmr. but outside, i was saying," but we just went to his house to do project and his father was just there!!" I knew emil's father had cancer. I knew he was the man lying on the bed when we went to his house to do project. I've seen emil's mother crying when she spoke to ps maureen in my church. When dorcas told me, I soo wanted to go to his house and just be really there for him and so did dorcas. we were best friends! i went to bed early that night and started crying like crazy into my pillow. yeah i rmb that. i was like praying," God, please take care of Emil and his family. Please comfort them in this difficult time. Give them the strength, help them to turn to you in this time of hardship..." Emil, I know ive not contacted you for quite some time now, i so miss you! (: Dorcas! I miss you too!!
its like.. there absolutely nothing you can do to stop these things from happening... but not knowing what you can do to help.. the feeling is even worse.. sighh... argh. this is getting depressing. lol! shall change the subject! hee!
collected o'level results yesterday! damn funny! the night before, i dreamt that i got 21 points! then my mother suddenly had the number 17 come to her mind. and she was shocked. hahaha! then i went to school, caught up with the yingjingbros. quite cool actually. i told rachel my dream . When the results of the school flashed on the screen, saying that 97.9% could get into JC, Rachel was laughing like cazy. "see?! you sure stay in rj one lahh!!" then i was like, " what if..what if.. i am that 2.1%??" hahah!
Rachel and i actally made a deal, that we would not see our own results. instead we can only know each others result and can only know our own reslts 1hr later. but her results were shown on the screen so we couldnt continue the game.
when i collected my results, i immediately passed my result slip and "envelope" to her. I was looking intently at her face for any signs of sadness.. then suddenly she looked up and made that sianed face at me then screamed! " TWENTY-ONE?! SEVENTEEN?! WAHLAO! EELEVEN LAH! MINUS TWO! NINE! NINE!! TWENTYONE?!!!" I was screaming like crazy! i never expected 11! ive never gotten below 20 for my 2 yrs! rachel and i were like," Thank you, God, Thank you, God X 10" then started singing "this is for YOU, for all You've done for me.. and I wanted to show you, how much you mean, my God." its a song lah! hahaha!
was like damn excited. and! My godfather, teacher and track teacher, Mr Lim Bun, hugged me twice! hahahaha! sad.. he retired already.... will really miss him mann.. he wanted to appoint me as the captain for track and field. he asked me in sec 3 if i wanted to be captain, but i told him i could not even turn up regularly for trainings coz ive got tri, so cannot lah. SO... there was like NO capt last year! like wth?! hahah! Mr Lim,I know i may never have acknowledged you or called my godfather since sec1, but i know you've been treating me like your daughter and i have always acknowleged you as my godpa in my heart. When i go to the staffroom to look for him, some teachers will ask, "looking for your godfather arh?" and i will be like,"yeah." hahah! Love ya, Godpa! :D
you know, i saw this verse,"Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13. Taking a deeper look, it is saying that when it is all said and done this will remain: His Love! this is so true as his love is neverending and everlasting. which reminds me of this song. Its my favourite song! :D
From The Inside Out
by Hillsong United
A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out
Yeah, anw, no one expected me to get this score. so my family like went out to sort of celebrate. hahaha. went pizza hut. nice! (: then then!! Got ben and jerry's! one tub! hand packed! YAYness!! its like the best!! love it so much! ice cream makes me damn high lah!hahhaha!
training was stupid lah. dont waste space to type out. lol. nothing interesting actually. haha.
Dear Lord, I just wanted to thank you so much for all you've done for me. Even though i had trainings and had to study, you carried me through this exam. I know that without you, i could never have gotten this result. You have blessed me with so much, i dont know how to thank you enough. Lord, I pray for all those who are not exactly happy with their result. Let them know you are there with them, guiding them in every single step they take. Lord, I know that you know whats best for every single one of us. You care so much that you had everything planned out for us even before we were born. Help them not to feel discouraged. Thank you, Dear Jesus. In your name I pray, Amen.
I want to comfort you;
but i just dont know how to
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